Out of the Ashes
by mrnaylor930
Summary: 3x01 AU. Castle comes back from the Hamptons to find that Kate Beckett's heart has already been stolen, but the thief is nothing like what he expected.
1. Prologue

He had meant to call, he really had. He hadn't meant to leave without a word for four months. It had only taken him and Gina five days to realize why they had gotten a divorce, and it had only taken a month to finish his manuscript. The rest of the summer had been spent with Alexis doing normal father-daughter-summer activities. As much fun as he had had with his daughter, he had sorely missed the 12th. He hadn't meant to let his leave of absence last this long, but the truth was he was a coward.

He wasn't sure how he had left things with Beckett. Those last few days had been filled with more than a few awkward pauses and not a lot of police cruiser conversation. The boys had kept things light, but there had definitely been tension underneath. He knew he was falling in love with her. Had already fallen in love with her. But she was with Demming and he had to respect that. She was way too good for him anyhow.

So, yes, he had meant to call. Especially when he discovered Maya Santori, but the boys had burst in before he could. He tried to explain that to them in his interrogation, but they were not having any of it.

"Alright Castle, Cap says we have to cut you loose." Espo said as he swung the door open, effectively ending Castle's inner struggle. "Don't think this means you're off the hook though."

"Still shoulda called," Ryan mumbled under his breath from his spot on the other side of the door.

"Look, you guys, I was going to call you. I really, was, but you burst in before I could." He reasoned.

"Yeah, yeah, we heard it the first time Castle. Let's go." They all walked out, Castle behind the boys as they made their way to the elevator.

"No, wait, guys. I want in. On the case. You can't just kick me out now! I haven't even seen Beckett yet. Wait." He said looking around, brow furrowed, for his favorite dark-haired detective. "Where is Beckett?"

"Not here." Ryan answered.

"What do you mean, 'not here'? Where else would she be? It is the middle of the afternoon!" The boys looked at one another and Espo punched the down button for the elevator. "Is something wrong with her? Guys, you would tell me if something was wrong right?"

"Castle, calm down. She just took some time off, okay?" Ryan said it with such nonchalance, but red flags were standing at attention in Castle's mind. Kate Beckett did not take time off. Ever. Only when Montgomery ordered her home, aside from that she was the first to arrive and the last to leave everyday.

Before he could finish processing the mystery time off, the elevator arrived and the doors opened. Castle turned his back to the elevator and faced the boys not ready to drop the conversation.

"Well, its been great Castle." Ryan said taking a step towards him and the elevator.

"Thanks for contaminating the crime scene." Another step.

"We'll tell Beckett you stopped by." Step and a shove. Before he knew it he was watching the elevator doors close as the boys waved from the other side.

His mind was still reeling when he made it back out onto the street. He couldn't imagine a reason that she would take time off, well nothing that was good. Had she been suspended? Had she been hurt? Did she run off into the sunset with Demming? No, that was ridiculous. She would never do that.

The possibilities turned over and over in his mind as he made his way back to the loft.

KBKBKBKBKBB

You know for a mystery writer, he really hated mysteries. It took him exactly one hour to go completely insane in his loft thinking of all the awful scenarios that went along with 'time off'. He tried to convince himself that people took time off all the time. It was normal for people to go on vacation, alone or with their significant others. The problem was that Kate Beckett was not 'people', she was Kate Beckett. She was 'The extraordinary KB' and she did not take time off.

He tried calling her first. It wasn't exactly ideal, but it was what he should have done three months ago. She didn't answer. Nor did she answer the next five times he called. That worried him even more. She always had her phone with her, day and night, and she never turned it off. She woke to murder calls at three in the morning for Christ sake, this was not like her at all.

He thought about going to Lanie, but considering the less than warm welcome he received from the boys he wasn't so sure that would go over well. So, he decided on a full on invasion.

The ride to her apartment was spent going over what he was going to say to her. It had been almost four months since he had seen her. And after spending every single day with her for two years, four months was a lifetime. He had missed her terribly. Wow, he was going soft.

After Gina left, he had found himself with a lot of time to think. Most of his thoughts had drifted to a certain gorgeous detective. He thought about how he felt when he was with her and all the ways he worked to make her smile. He thought about her laugh and how she didn't let it out nearly enough. He thought about the two weeks she had spent in his loft and how well she fit with his family. How they would come home and she would help Alexis with her school work or they would all cuddle up on the couch for a movie night. She just fit. In his life, in his home, in his family, and especially in his heart.

He was sure of his feelings now, more sure than he had been when he left. But somehow he doesn't think that showing up at her door and professing his love is the way to go. Yeah, probably not. They weren't ready for that yet.

He just needed time with her, time to make her see how well they fit together. They could be good for each other, he could work to deserve her and love her the way she deserved to be loved. He was certain that he could make her see, if only she would give him a chance.

When he arrived at her apartment he hastily paid the cabbie and jumped out. It was now or never. He wrote books for a living, surely he would be able to come up with something to say to her, some reasonable thing to say that wasn't anywhere near 'I love you'. He really needed to get a handle on his emotions if he wanted to get back to working with her everyday, that is, if she was planning on working everyday.

He was halfway through her buildings very tiny lobby when he heard the doorman calling his name.

"Mr. Castle!" He exclaimed. Castle halted and turned around. He was impressed. He had only been to her apartment a couple of times, and only been in the lobby or further when he helped her move in. He hadn't expected to be recognized, he didn't even know her doorman was on duty this early. "You are here for Ms. Beckett, no?"

"Yeah, yes. Is she not here?"

"No, she is out. You will wait here?" Castle liked the kind foreign man. He seemed a little too casual about giving out information, but at least he knew who Castle was and maybe he could use this to his favor.

"Do you know where she went?" At this the man paused and looked Castle up and down. Rick huffed impatiently and pulled out a ten.

"The park down the street. Left not long ago."

"Thank you." He replied as he placed the money in the doorman's hands, hoping that the doorman was not so easily bought by strangers. He would have to talk to Beckett about it later.

The park wasn't far from her apartment, he remembered passing it on the way here in the cab. It was more of a playground than a park. His interest was piqued. But he was also relieved to know that she hadn't completely disappeared off the face of the earth.

He rounded the corner of the last block and stopped in his tracks. His eyes were immediately drawn to her. He expected to see her running or taking a leisurely walk or simply sitting on a bench reading a book. But Kate Beckett was nothing if not a mystery. No, she wasn't doing the normal adult park activities, she was the on the swings.

Her hair was hanging in loose waves around her shoulders, longer than he remembered and even more beautiful. Her eyes were covered with dark sunglasses, and he found himself wishing she would take them off so he could see the mesmerizing way her eyes caught the sunlight. Her normally starched and pressed business attire had been replaced with a much more casual and bright flowing ensemble. The most notable difference was not her hair or the clothes, but the beaming smile on her face.

She was practically glowing with it. It was wide and open and free. Three words that he would have never used to describe the reserved and slightly hidden smiles he was used to seeing. She looked happy. Truly happy. He had never seen her like this, and it made his smile widen at the sight.

He started moving faster, wanting to be near her and share what had made her smile so freely. But what he saw when he came around the brick wall and the scattering of small trees cleared paralyzed him where he stood. He had no words, the breath left his lungs, and he simply stared, completely slack jawed. As if Kate Beckett sitting in a children's swing with a huge smile on her face wasn't enough to make his heart skip a beat, she was cradling a tiny little girl against her chest.

 **TBC.**

 **I have been thinking about this story for a while now, and I am so glad to finally be putting it down on paper. I hope you enjoy and I would love to hear from you!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:**

 **1\. Wow! That's all I have to say. I am blown away by the support this story has received. Thank you all so much for your follows and favorites and reviews! I love to hear from all of you!**

 **2\. I am hoping to update this story every Friday from now on, but I wanted to have both the prologue and chapter 1 out this week.**

 **3\. This story will go back and forth between then and now with each chapter. 'Then' will show us the blooming relationship between Kate and the little girl and 'now' will focus on Rick's return.**

 **Okay, enough of that...on to the story.**

 **Now**

To say he was shocked would be an understatement. He couldn't even formulate a thought. There were a lot of scenarios that could explain this, but none of them fit with the picture in front of him. None of them fit the story.

Standing there, twenty feet away, the connection between them was palpable. He flashed back to the Angela Candela kidnapping case and the way she had held the little girl after she was found. He remembered being surprised at the gentleness the normally hardened detective had shown towards Angela, but that was nothing compared to the reverence and love with which she held the little girl in her arms now.

It was more than the connection between a niece or a friend's child, this was the real thing. This was what he felt for Alexis. It was the exact same way he held Alexis when she was that little. This was the connection between a doting parent and a child.

He took a few steps toward the pair and took a moment to study the toddler. She was beautiful, if a little gaunt. She didn't have the sweet little bit of baby fat that most toddlers still had, she was simply skin and bones. But even so she was striking. Her skin was smooth and pale, a stark contrast to her tiny pink lips. Her golden blonde hair fell just below her shoulders and was adorably curly. Her large brown eyes were blinking slowly, heavy with sleep.

The little girl was sitting with her legs on either side of Kate's lap so that they were chest to chest and her little head was tucked in against Kate's collar bone. She was smiling sweetly at whatever Beckett was whispering to her, dropping little kisses on her head every so often. They were swinging slightly to and fro as if they were the only two people in the entire park, the entire city.

He let it sink in, watching them from a distance for a while longer, before he walked decisively toward them. He got within a few steps before one of Kate's hands shot up from their resting place against the toddler's back, clearly telling him to stop.

Of course she knew he was there. She was a detective for crying out loud, no doubt the best detective in the city. And he had been staring for quite a while. She always did think that was creepy.

She continued to murmur to the little girl until her big brown eyes closed and she fell into sleep. Only when she was sure that the toddler was down for the count did she drop her hand and look up into his face.

He was at a disadvantage, not being able to see her eyes, but he smiled and came forward anyway. He took a seat at the swing next to her and took a deep breath.

"The boys warned me I might be seeing you today." Her voice had a bit of bite to it and he wasn't quite sure what the appropriate response to that was, so he deflected.

"You're not going to ask me how my summer was?" Her mouth remained in a firm line and he wished again that he could see her eyes. Her eyes were so expressive, even when her Detective Beckett mask was firmly in place sometimes, if he was lucky, her true emotions slipped out through her eyes.

"Look, if you came here to tell me that this is a bad idea or that its going to ruin my career or that I'm too young or that I should really have a husband first than you should just get up and walk away now. I'm doing this. End of story. And we don't need any more negativity in our lives, okay? I think we've both had enough of that already." She paused and took a shaky breath that gave away just how hard these last four months had been for her. Before he could correct her about his intentions she was off again.

"I don't need you to tell me how to live my life, Castle. I was fine before you came into my life and I've been fine for the last four months." With that she got up off of the swing, gently hoisted the little girl more comfortably into her arms, and walked away.

He had walked away four months ago and it was a huge mistake. He wasn't about to let her walk away from him without a fight.

"Beckett, Kate, wait." She stopped and he caught up to her at the entrance to the park. "I didn't come here to judge you. The boys didn't tell me anything, just that you had taken some time off. I had no idea about her. I still don't really know what's going on, but I want to. I'm sorry I wasn't here, I'm sorry I walked away, and I'm sorry I didn't call." He touched her shoulder so that she would look up at him. After a moment she did.

"Please, Kate, just tell me what's going on." She simply stared at him at first. He could feel her searching his eyes for whatever reassurances she needed and so he tried to put as much sincerity into his expression as possible. Willing her to understand.

She must have seen what she was looking for because her cheeks turned red and she ducked her head.

"I'm sorry." She murmured.

"There's no need to apologize." He reassured, still trying to comfort her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Alright, Castle. Just let me put her to down for a nap, and I'll tell you everything."

It was a tense walk to her apartment building and a silent elevator ride. She opened the door seamlessly and maneuvered herself and the little girl inside with ease. He was impressed with her easy and practiced movements. She was a natural.

"You can just take a seat on the couch. I'll be back in just a second." She said over her shoulder as she headed down her small hallway.

The last time he had been here the place had been filled with boxes and a scattering of furniture, but now it was a full fledged home. It looked just like her. He could see her in the little things that were sitting here and there. The elephants on the shelves, the books that lined the stairs, the whimsical painting that covered a whole wall, her union jack pillow sitting on the couch, it was all her. It was quirky and feminine and her.

There were also touches of the little girl scattered around too. A stack of Disney movies sitting beside her laptop on the side table, a dollhouse in the corner, little shoes mixed in with the heels by the door, and a sippy cup by the sink, all little touches of having a toddler in the house.

He sat heavily on the couch and let his head fall back, closing his eyes and letting out a sigh. He suppressed all of the thoughts threatening to burst into his mind. He didn't want to hear them, didn't want to think them. He just wanted the real story. He could wait.

Maybe.

Finally, finally, she appeared from around the corner. He opened his eyes to watch her approach. Her sunglasses and shoes were gone, but so was all the emotion he had seen earlier. Detective Beckett was back. It was fascinating how she wore such a hardened mask, he wanted to get to know Kate. Because the woman who he had just seen in park was nothing like the woman before him now.

"So, arrested for murder, huh?" She smirked.

"Yeah, not as fun as you would think." He chuckled, but she just glared. "You look good."

"Apparently, you looked good... for murder. I mean at what point in your thought process did you decide to pick up the murder weapon? I'm just curious. How many crime scenes have you been to Castle? If I had been there…"

"Are we not going to pretend like the conversation in the park never happened?" It was a little harsh, a little sudden, but she was clearly avoiding the subject. Deflecting with her anger and disbelief.

"No, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm not sure where to begin, actually. It's kind of a long story."

"Why don't you try the beginning. I hear it's a very good place to start." He said softly, trying to be encouraging when he was just about ready to jump out of his skin for answers.

"Her name's Evangeline Grace, but I call her Eva. She's three years old." A small glimmer of a smile appeared on her face. She got up, went to the office, and came back with a case file, smile long forgotten. "It was a murder suicide. Her father shot and killed his wife, and then he killed himself. She was in the house. It was two weeks after you left." Her voice was just like that day all those months ago when she talked about her mother's murder. She was simply giving him the facts, and yet her voice was laden with so much emotion.

She opened the file and handed him a picture. He was completely unprepared for what he saw, it made him want to throw up. The little girl, Evangeline, was laying in a hospital bed, clad in just a diaper, and looked like a corpse. She was painfully thin, even thinner than the version of her he had just seen. She looked like she was in a third world country. She was as pale as the sheet beneath her, and on top of that, her whole body was covered in bruises. The worst one, across her ribs, almost certainly a boot print, was completely black. Her face looked as if she had been hit across the cheek. There were other smaller bruises and a burn scar here and there. It was disgusting. It made him want to run out and kill the man that did this, too bad he was already dead.

It shocked him that children were treated this way. He knew that this was an extreme case. That most abuse in foster homes was caught and dealt with, but at the moment the thousands that were being taken care of didn't matter. This tiny little girl had been failed. She had been overlooked, and look what had happened because of it.

"I found her… She was unconscious on the floor." Her eyes closed and the tears began to fall. "She was malnourished to begin with, but nothing like this. The father spent all of his money on drugs and prostitutes and whiskey. Her mother was a heroin addict. After her father lost his job they had no money, and what they did have was spent on their habits. They just left her there, for days. From what we have gathered, he beat her so that she would be quiet." Tears were running down both their cheeks as the story spilled out of her.

"No one even knew she was there, Castle. The neighbors had no idea. She had probably never even been out of that apartment." She sobbed into her hands for a minute and he rubbed her back to try and calm her, wishing he could do so much more.

"The doctor said a few more hours and she would have been the third casualty." She straightened up and he removed her hand. After wiping her face, she began again. "She had surgery to repair her little ribs and spent two weeks in the hospital on a constant nutrition IV. They treat most malnourishment cases out-patiently now, and she still has appointments every other week to check her progress.

"She's so sweet, Castle. So loving and curious. Sometimes, when its just me and her, she seems like a normal little girl. She still has some issues, the medical ones you know about, but she's seeing a children's therapist too. She doesn't talk, won't let men anywhere near her, and a thousand other things. But, I don't care. I don't care, Castle.

"I'm so in love with her. I would do anything for her. Anything. I just…" They both turned at the sound of little footsteps. Eva was there in the doorway to the kitchen, clutching a little pink pig stuffed animal to her chest.

Her eyes were big and red, and there were tears running down her face. He immediately felt a shift in the woman beside him. She was completely absorbed in the little girl with one glance. Already knowing exactly how to react and not paying attention to anything else.

"Oh Eva, baby, come here." The toddler looked at Castle and then back at Beckett. She furiously shook her head and stepped back behind the island, her cries getting just a little louder.

Kate instantly stood and moved towards the kitchen. Offering no explanation, not that he needed one, he knew exactly what she was thinking and feeling. He could feel the clench in his heart he felt every time a little Alexis had come into his room distraught after having a bad dream.

He let them have their moment in the kitchen. He understood Eva's fears and reluctance to be around men. The last thing he wanted was to make things worse for her or for Beckett, especially if he wanted to continue being a part of their lives.

He took a minute to let every thing he had just learned sink in. She had shot information at him at an alarming rate. He hadn't even had time to properly process. He couldn't believe just how much had happened in the last four months.

This morning he thought that he would go back to the precinct and they would all just go back to the way things had been before he left. He didn't expect to be arrested for murder. He didn't think that the boys would be as upset as they seemed to be. But none of that compared to the surprise he got when he walked into that park.

The little girl was adorable, and he could see, even in the incredibly short time he had been here, just how much Kate loved her. She hadn't officially told him, but he knew that she was in the process of adoption. It was clear that she wanted to raise this girl and he knew that she would succeed in gaining custody. She had gotten this far, and the fierceness she had shown when she thought he was against her was intense. Yeah, she would do this.

But this wasn't just an adorable toddler. She had been through hell and back. He couldn't imagine all that was going through her little mind. She had been left to die. Literally, she had been starved and beaten and left for dead by the only two people she knew in the world. The people who were suppose to love and cherish her had betrayed her.

He decided that it was probably time to leave the little family alone. If Eva was upset, it was probably not a good idea for a stranger to be in her home while she was trying to calm down. So he stood up with the file still in his hands. He considered putting it down on the coffee table or returning it to the office, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

He was much too curious, especially where Kate Beckett was concerned. If Eva was going to be hers, if this was really happening, then he wanted to know everything he could about the little girl and her origin. From what she had told him, it wasn't going to be pretty, but he needed to know. All of it, not just the basic facts but everything he could.

He approached the kitchen island as quietly as possible. He looked over the side and found Beckett on the floor with Eva sideways in her lap, the little girls head buried in her neck. The look on Beckett's face was distraught and it made him want to barge in and take both of them into his arms and not let go. He had it bad.

He went against all of his instincts when he caught her attention and waved toward the door. She straightened as much as she could in her current situation and nodded to his suggestion.

There was a lot she wanted to tell him, so much she didn't get to say. She hadn't intended on releasing so much onto him, she had started with just the facts. Anything else and she would have completely lost it, which she ended up doing anyway. But once she had begun the story, she realized how much she wanted someone to tell. She wanted someone who she could sit down and let it all out with. But, she knew that Eva needed a stranger free, man free environment right now.

The apartment had become their safe haven. The place where Eva learned to let go and be herself. She was always happier and more toddler like when it was just the two of them in the apartment.

She turned her attention back to Castle. He held up the file and raised his eyebrows. She nodded. Better that she didn't have to go over that with him again. She had it memorized anyway.

She wasn't sure why she kept opening it up and reliving it. They were both dead and Eva was safe, but she couldn't stop herself. It was like a compulsion, just like her mother's case. But it always made her feel empty inside when she finished reading it. There was nothing to solve. No justice to get for her tiny girl. They were dead and they would never have to pay for their crimes.

Finally, Castle held up his phone. She nodded a third time. She would call him tonight. Or he would call her if she failed to do so. It was a tiny gesture. Something people did all the time, but somehow it was more. It meant he wasn't leaving, he was going to call and he wasn't giving up on her. He was here for her to talk to, if she needed it. She could call him anytime she needed. To some that may not seem like a lot, but to her it was everything.

She heard the door click shut and she breathed a sigh. Pulling the sobbing little girl closer to her chest and kissing her forehead lightly. She could do this. She was the extraordinary KB, and she could do this.

 **Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! See you next Friday!**


	3. Chapter 2

**WOW! I am blown away by the support this story has received! Thank you all so much for your kind words, favorites, and follows. Each one means so much to me!**

 **I hope you have all had a great week and enjoy the next installment in our story!**

 **Then**

They said it was Beckett-flavored, but when she rolled up on the scene the picture was really quite simple. It was definitely a mess, well that was probably an understatement, it was horrible. There was blood everywhere, used syringes, drugs, food wrappers that appeared weeks old, beer bottles, it was atrocious. The smell was even worse.

The neighbors had called it in when they heard the shots. Surprising since this was a I didn't hear or see anything type of apartment building. It wasn't somewhere that families or young couples lived in voluntarily. This is where bad things happened.

She was already at the precinct when the call went out on the uniforms radios, so she decided to just go ahead and go to the crime scene. It had been two weeks since Castle had walked out with his ex-wife on his arm, and she needed as much distraction as possible.

Work had always been her escape. She came here for focus and drive and put her entire heart and mind into every case. If she was working, then she was not thinking or feeling anything else. She worked herself to the bone and fell into bed when she went home. As soon as she woke up, she was at it again.

She really thought that she and Castle had a chance. Of course that was a crazy lapse in judgment. He could have any woman he wanted, literally, they lined up at his book parties. He had dated minor celebrities and drop dead gorgeous models. She thought they were getting somewhere, but she would have been just another notch in his bedpost. She had to come to terms with that.

She sighed when she actually saw the scene. This was open and shut. The male victim, Sean Coleman, had shot his wife, probably in a drunken or drug induced rage, and then he had shot himself. It was terribly sad. Two lives were lost and there was no justice in it. The man deserved worse then he got, taking the cowards way out.

But there was nothing for her to do until Lanie confirmed her theory with an autopsy. The uniforms were still arriving and taking instructions from the commanding officer on the scene, so she took the time to sweep the apartment on her own. She enjoyed doing it before the uniforms when she could. Most detectives just came in after all the uniforms and collected the information that had already been gathered. Its how she did it most of the time, but she did enjoy going through it first before all of the markers were there. It was more of a challenge.

It's a small apartment and it doesn't take her long to methodically walk through the kitchenette and living room areas. The little bathroom is disgusting, it looks as if it has never been cleaned. Clothes and underwear and drug paraphernalia litter every surface in sight.

She sighs as she walks down the tiny hallway to what she assumes is the bedroom. There have been absolutely no signs of foul play. The door was locked and hadn't been tampered with, there are no open windows, if you look closely at the enormous mess there isn't even signs of a struggle.

She opens the door to the bedroom expecting to see the same mess as is everywhere else, but she stops in her tracks once the door is open. After that it all happened so fast. She screamed for someone to call an ambulance. Praying that it wasn't in vain. She fell to her knees beside the dirty mattress on the floor and checked for a pulse. It was there, but it was weak.

This little girl didn't have long. She needed an ambulance, fast! There were uniforms scrambling through the apartment to make a path for the paramedics for when they arrived. But she and the girl remained undisturbed.

She couldn't be more than two or three years old, she observed. She was laying on a filthy mattress, in her own waste, with nothing to cover her. Her ribs were protruding and bruises littered her body. Beckett had to swallow down the bile that rose in her throat. She was ghostly pale, if her hand was not still on her pulse she would have thought she was a corpse.

Her ribs were most likely broken and it looked like she hadn't eaten anything substantial in days. Her hair was sweaty and matted to her face, greasy even under the sweat. And on top of that she was filthy. Not just toddler who had come back from the park dirty, but I live with drug dealers and don't take baths filthy.

She was glad that the uniforms were not intruding on her, because she definitely didn't want them to see the tears in her eyes. The children's cases always hit her the hardest and this was one of the worst she had ever seen. She had seen comparable injuries in young children, especially in this neighborhood, but she had never seen this level of malnourishment in person before.

She took a deep breath and stroked back the little girl's hair. Whispering that it would be all right. She would keep her safe and make sure she was taken care of.

The paramedics burst through the door and she willingly moved away from the toddler. They worked furiously and lifted her onto the gurney in a hurry. They raced back out of the apartment and Beckett was hot on their heels. She had already decided to be the one to stay with her.

Normally they sent a uniform to stay with whatever suspect or victim was sent to the hospital, but she had already swept the apartment and until Lanie finished with the bodies there was nothing that Esposito, Ryan, and the uniforms couldn't handle.

For some reason she wanted to protect this girl. She was so innocent and tiny. She didn't deserve this. It was sickening. She didn't want the little girl to wake up completely alone with only a uniformed officer at her door. She wanted someone there to reassure her and tell her it was going to be okay. She knew the nurses would help her and there would be a social worker assigned to her case, but honestly she just couldn't bring herself to let her out of her sight.

KBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBK

The next few hours were long, and silent. There were very few updates from the nurses, just the basics of her condition and the surgery they were going to perform. The boys kept her updated form the scene, but there wasn't much to tell. The neighbors were less than forthcoming, and none of them knew anything about the little girl. They got IDs on both victims and found the the little girl's birth records.

Evangeline Grace. Born July 20th, 2007. She was two years old. Other than that there were no records. After her first year of life there weren't even pediatric records.

She thought back to her sweep of the apartment. There were no traces of the little girl anywhere in the apartment. There were no dolls, no little plastic bowls and cups, no stuffed animals, no little pink toothbrush with princess toothpaste. Nothing in the apartment that even hinted a child lived there. The mattress that she found her on was dirty and uncovered. There weren't even sheets. There was a pile of children's clothes beside the bed, along with a hair brush and a towel, a few children's book, but that was about it.

Finally, the doctor came out.

"You're the police protection for Evangeline Coleman?" He asked. "The nurse pointed me in your direction."

"Yes, Detective Kate Beckett. How is she?"

"Well, she's had a hard day, but she's a fighter. Would you like to step into a conference room so we could talk?" She followed him down the hall and into an empty conference room.

"The surgery we performed was pretty simple, just setting the bones and adding few screws. She is so small that the plate wasn't necessary. I'm confident that the bones and stitches will heal nicely. Breathing will be painful for a while, which is the hardest part of this for smaller children. Somehow though I think she will be able to handle it.

"There are signs of long-term child abuse, which I'm sure you noticed. Though I am confident in saying that it has never been this bad before. However, her situation is extreme. Her malnourishment is our biggest concern right now. A few more hours and we wouldn't be sitting here.

"We're beginning a rigorous IV treatment, and then she will be treated out-patiently after she has gained back enough weight. We've already put in her IV and the nourishment will go directly into her blood stream. Her stomach is probably very weak and small right now. She'll start eating soft foods a little bit at a time some time tonight and we'll try to get some fluids into her as well.

"Because of her age and size, it isn't wise to keep her under anesthesia. She'll wake up within the next few hours. We will give her something for the pain and ice her ribs hourly. She should be here a week at most." Kate gave a sigh of relief.

It was bad. But she would be okay. They had gotten her help and she wouldn't have to waste away on a dirty mattress in pain and hungry. Her scumbag father hadn't been able to ruin her life. She was so young, eventually this would just be a thing of nightmares, and then it would be forgotten.

"Thank you, doctor. A social worker has been contacted and she will be here to take the case shortly. I will also be staying here as her police guard until her parent's case has been officially closed."

"Thank you, Detective." The doctor stuck out his hand and she took it. "I can take you to her recovery room."

When they arrived at the door to her room, the doctor took his leave. She took a breath and stepped inside. The recovery room had several beds, some of which were occupied. She'd be moved into a different room in a few hours, but for now she would remain here where the nurses were constantly moving around the various children.

There were parents around all the occupied beds sitting beside their children a few of whom were awake. She quickly found the little blonde and went straight to her little bed in the corner. She was still asleep, breathing deeply and peacefully. Her heart unclenched when she saw her.

She looked cleaner, her hair was still matted, but her skin was clean and pale. There was an IV in her little hand, fiberglass and tape was holding it in place. She looked better already, a little more color was in her cheeks, even with the anesthesia still heavily in her. She looked absolutely tiny in the hospital bed. She was wearing a little pink hospital gown and she was covered in a knit blanket. It was probably the nicest bed she had ever been in.

Beckett took a seat in the chair beside her bed, took Evangeline's little hand in her's, and sat in to wait.

 **See you next Friday! I would love to hear from you!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Happy Friday Peeps! I hope you enjoy this little piece of domestic fluff!**

 **Now**

"Are you ready for some lunch, Eva?" Kate said after a while. The little girl had quieted, her cries turning into nothing more than hiccups and shaky breathing.

Eva lifted her head from Kate's chest and looked around with wide green eyes.

"He's gone, baby. It's just us." Eva relaxed into her and nodded her head.

Kate stood up with the girl against her chest and moved around the counter to the stove. She deposited the toddler onto the counter and started pulling down the supplies for a light lunch. She went through the motions of making macaroni and cheese with some grilled chicken and fresh fruit, all while keeping her eyes on Eva.

The little girl was perfectly content to sit on the counter and watch Kate work. She was a very subdued child. Silent and contemplative all the time. When Kate had first brought her home she had just sat on the floor and stared. She didn't speak, she didn't play, she didn't eat, she didn't do anything. She was afraid that she would do something wrong and be scolded, or worse, for it.

She had warmed up to the detective considerably over the past four months, she even said a few words here and there when she felt completely safe, but she was still just a little shell of a person. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. She had to be coaxed into playing and eating and doing anything, but she was getting there.

When lunch was finished, Kate plated two meals and put them on a tray. She picked Eva up and settled her on her hip, holding the girl with one hand and he tray with the other she made their way into the living room.

They both sat on the floor and used the coffee table as a table as they ate their lunch. The famous Styrofoam temple was one of the first things to go when Eva had come into her life. The little girl needed healthy home-cooked meals to gain weight and get the proper nutrients. She drank a protein shake designed for kids in the morning, had a nice meal for lunch, another shake in the afternoon, and then ate dinner. If she was hungry, which was rare, she would eat a light snack before bed.

It had been horrible trying to get her to eat in the beginning. Her stomach was so small from misuse that she couldn't eat much of anything, she would cry and refused to touch any of the shakes. But it got better. It helped that Kate began making herself a protein shake every morning too. When the girl saw Kate doing it too she tried hard to copy her. This arrangement had actually improved Beckett's diet as much as it had Eva's.

They were good for each other, that much was clear. At this point Kate could no longer imagine her life without the girl. She had already imagined the life she could give her. Trips to her father's cabin, reading her Harry Potter for the first time, her first day of school, dance recitals, piano lessons, it was all up in her head.

She tried to stop those thoughts when they found their way in. Eva was not officially hers yet. The judge would have to give the final verdict and there was a lot going against them. She was single, for one, she had a dangerous job with odd hours, she lived in a tiny apartment, and there were surely thousands of families better equipped financially and emotionally to deal with a broken toddler. But she couldn't let that happen.

Evangeline had become her whole world. There was nothing she wouldn't do for the girl and she loved her with her whole heart. She knew that she would do whatever it took to make sure she had the best childhood possible. And it helped that her father's best friend was the top family attorney in the city.

At the beginning of the summer Kate had been all about her job. She saw nothing in her life that was more important than solving her mother's murder and getting justice for other families. But now, everything had changed. She found that she didn't even miss her job. She was so busy with Eva she didn't really have time to miss it. Of course she would have to go back at some point, money did not fall from the sky, and she enjoyed what she did, but she was willing to make the necessary changes to her lifestyle.

She was willing to apply for a promotion so she could have a more desk based job, she was willing to clock in and out at normal times and actually follow the duty roster. If it was for Eva she could do it all.

After lunch they played in Eva's dollhouse and then played a few rounds of hide and seek. Eva's silent nature made her especially good at the game and after a very scary hour a few months ago, Kate had had to start peeking while she counted to make sure she would be able to find the girl again. For some reason it had become a favorite of little Eva. She always had the biggest smile on her face when she finally found Kate.

When Eva fell asleep in her last hiding place, Kate decided a Disney movie was in order. They had just started watching movies after her third birthday, and Eva had fallen in love. She loved each and every one they watched, except for sleeping beauty.

They had tried watching that one just a few weeks ago and it had not gone well. Maleficent had been a bit scary in human form, causing Eva to curl farther into Kate whenever she was on screen, but that was nothing compared to the meltdown that had occurred when the dragon had come out. It was loud and dark and scary and Kate cursed herself for not catching it before.

The princess had gone to sleep and the dragon had come out. How had she not see the mirror to Eva's story? Her parents had been drug addicts and drunks who had put her to bed every night and had partaken in violence and nastiness. Kate had cried herself to sleep that night for her baby's sake.

She thought about little Eva laying on her filthy mattress in her ratty nightgown crying softly as she heard the terrible things going on in the apartment. She must have heard some awful things in her little life. And then to be beaten and starved within an inch of her life, to hear her parents die, it was way too much for a two-year-old to go through.

So they stuck with the less complicated stories, she had yet to see Cinderella or Snow White, though Kate was sure that she would immediately fall in love with the mice and the dwarves; but after the Sleeping Beauty incident she was content to have some more distance between her old life and her new one before they dealt with slightly abusive parents and huntsmen with knives.

Today it was 'The Aristocats' and it was a big hit. They drank their afternoon shakes while they watched and Eva actually finished the whole thing. Kate praised her and Eva's face lit up when she realized what she had done. It was a small thing, but it was something.

This movie had always been one of Kate's favorites and she could tell Eva felt the same way. The little girl laughed at the geese and little Toulouse as he bristled up and tried to be brave.

The protein shake had given her energy and by the time the credits were rolling she was practically running laps around the coffee table.

"Okay Munchkin." Kate said as she swung the toddler up into her arms. "why don't we go play for a while and then I'll make dinner, alright?"

Eva nodded her head before squirming out of Kate's arms and dashing off to her room. Kate laughed and followed behind.

The little girl's room was very small, but it wasn't cramped. There was a day bed up against the wall, all made up with a bright pink and purple polka dotted comforter. There was a rail on the side that wasn't against the wall, just in case. The walls were still white, but her name was spelled in big stick-on letters above her bed. There was a dresser, a nightstand, and a toy chest along the walls, and a bookshelf by the door.

By the time Kate reached the doorway, Eva had already pulled out Candy land and was attempting to open the box. She had lost count of the number of times she had played Candy land in the last few months, but she wasn't about to suggest anything else.

One of the goals the pediatric therapist had given her was to try and get Eva to form opinions about things. When she came to them, Eva didn't have any favorites. No favorite color or favorite food or favorite Disney princess, she was literally walking through life as an empty shell. She was a black and white painting and it was Kate's job to help her fill in the colors. So she would play Candy land for the one thousandth time, just to see the smile on Eva's little face.

When they tired of the game. Kate decided it was time to make dinner and so she led Eva out into the kitchen. This time, instead of sitting her on the counter she led Eva over to the dollhouse and opened it up.

"I have to go make dinner, but I'll be right over there. Why don't you play with your dolls until I'm done and then we will eat together, hmm?" Eva turned around and squeezed Kate's legs before sitting down in front of the house and picking up two of her dolls.

They were also supposed to be trying to activate her imagination. Four months ago when she had been put in a room full of toys at the therapist office and told she could play with anything she wanted, she had not touched a thing. When Kate had gone in with her and tried to help her play with the dolls and animals that were there, she just looked at her like she had three heads and refused to join in. Imagination was an important part of childhood and the goal was for her to be able to sit down and entertain herself for a while. Make up stories and lives for her dolls to live in and to name all of her stuffed animals.

She had gotten good at playing with Kate. They could sit in front of the dollhouse for hours while Kate told one side of the story and let Eva fill in the rest in her mind. She had such expressive eyes and Kate could see the wheels turning and the story registering in her little brain. The problem was playing by herself.

The one exception to this was her little pink stuffed pig. The little stuffed animal was always close by and she slept with it in her arms every night. It was the first toy she had been given and it was definitely her favorite.

Kate watched for a minute as Eva made the dolls move around a bit and then turned her attention to the meal. She took these few free moments to think about all that had happened that day.

She hadn't expected Castle to come back. Even though he had said 'see you in the fall'. There had always been something final about him walking out the way he did, arm in arm with his ex-wife. She had thought that there was something forming between them beyond their partnership, but she was wrong. And that was okay.

She had Eva now and the little girl had come and taken over her whole heart. She hadn't had time to wallow in the 'what ifs' and the heartbreak that she had received. All of her energy had gone to Eva, and it was better that way.

But now he was back. He was back and he was willing to sit on her couch while she poured her heart out, he was genuinely interested in the case file, and he was going to call her tonight. He wanted to be in her life, in their life.

The rational part of her told her that she was just kidding herself. That he was just here for the story. He was just here to get a little kernel of truth to add to Nikki Heat and this was his way in. She was just his meal ticket and that was it.

However, that part of her brain was overshadowed by the part of her that saw the way he looked at her. She saw the way his heart had broken when he saw Eva's battered body. She had seen the genuine all consuming anger he had felt towards her parents and the heartbreak that her story had left him with. Maybe just maybe, it wasn't about the books anymore. Maybe he wanted more, too.

'No, Kate." She thought to herself, 'Don't go there. You're just kidding yourself and your heart is going to break all over again. You have a child to think about now. Pull yourself together.'

It really was ridiculous. And what did it even matter. He was with Gina and she had Eva, and that was that. He would come back to the precinct with her when she went back and it would all go back to normal and that was all she could hope for.

When the pasta and vegetables were done, Kate set the table and went to get Eva. Her heart sank when she found the little girl exactly the way she found her every time she suggested she play on her own. Sitting criss-cross on the floor staring straight ahead, dolls forgotten on the floor.

She wished that she knew what was going on inside the girl's head. She wanted to know exactly what she was thinking. She wondered if she was thinking about her parents and her old home. She knew that she remembered where she had come from, or at least the feelings she had there. Every night she woke up screaming and sobbing from the nightmares, but she wondered if those memories and the lonely feelings ever touched her during the day. Did she stop playing because she was remembering bad things, or was it something else? She guessed she would never quite know.

"Eva, baby, dinner time." That perked the little girl right up, and she was up on her feet and running at Kate in no time. Kate swung her up into her arms and headed to the table, content just to have her safe in her arms.

Kate sat Eva down in a booster seat at the table and took the seat next to her. It was hard to sit down at dinner like this. There was no background noise or activity to cover the silence that hung between them, and Kate could never quite fill in all of the conversation. Eva didn't seem to mind, she simply sat and ate, reacting to whatever Kate came up with. But it was awkward for Kate. She wanted more than anything to be able to hear Eva's sweet, quiet voice asking questions and adding to the conversation. She was sure it would happen eventually, just not today.

After their plates had been cleared it was time for a bath and their nighttime rituals. They played with the bath toys and crayons before actually taking care of the washing. Eva had been scared of the tub at first, but she enjoyed it more and more. Kate used to have to don a bathing suit and hold her in her lap every night, but she got in on her own now, as long as Kate was kneeling right beside it.

After she was dry and warm in her footy pajamas, Kate brushed and dried her hair. Seven-thirty saw them cuddled up on the couch, Eva, Kate, and Puddles the Pig, watching Sofia the First. Kate could care less about the cartoon princess on the screen, but it was one of her favorite times of the day. Eva would crawl into her lap and curl up against her chest, warm from her bath and blinking away sleep.

It was the perfect way to end the day, running her hands through the little girl's hair while she watched a little princess find her place in the world. Not four months ago, she came home at an absurdly late hour every night and crashed as soon as she had seen a soft surface. Sometimes she even fell asleep with her clothes on. She was ashamed to say that some times she walked out with the boys and then circled around the block and went straight back upstairs to work. But this was a much better use of her time

Eva tugged on her shirt when the credits began to roll, always one to stay on schedule, so Kate stood with her and puddles on her hip and took her to bed. They picked out a book together and settled into bed. Tonight it was 'Pablo: the penguin who hated the cold'. This particular book had been in the box of things her father had brought over from her childhood. Eva was sound asleep before they even got halfway through, but Kate finished the book anyway, she couldn't bear to leave just yet.

When she finished the book, and could no longer justify her need to sit and admire her any longer, Kate reluctantly got up and tucked the blankets tightly around her. She made sure the baby monitor attached to the rail was on and that Puddles was securely in Eva's arms before making her way out of the room.

It was just a typical day in the Beckett household, but it was magical in its own little way.

 **So there you go! Nothing much, I just wanted to give you some insight into the everyday of the new Beckett household! Much more excitement to come in our next couple chapters!**

 **As always, thank you for reading and I look forward to hearing from you all!**


	5. Chapter 4

**Happy Friday!**

 **THEN:**

Eva drifted in and out of consciousness for the next several hours. Uniforms came in to take pictures and collect any evidence the hospital had retrieved, and Kate was glad that she was not awake, much less aware of the commotion that went on around her.

Kate sat by the little girl's bed through everything. The uniforms, doctors, and nurses floated in and out, but Kate was a constant presence. When her eyes did finally stay open and begin to focus, Kate abandoned her chair and came closer, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

It was a few more minutes before her little eyes focused all the way and she was truly back with the living. Kate waited patiently, intently watching her face and whispering assurances to her. As soon as her eyes landed on Kate she struggled and cried out, clearly pulling the stitches in her side and the bruises that covered her tiny body. She wrenched her hand away from Kate's and clawed at the cannula on her face.

"Oh, no. Try to stay still, little one." Kate tried to soothe the girl by running a hand through her hair. This only served to upset the girl more as her cries got louder and she writhed in the bed. Kate's heart clenched, she hated to see such a small girl in such pain.

She was clearly scared and confused and in pain, not a good combination for a two-year-old. Here she was battered, bruised, just out of surgery with an IV in her hand and a cannula in her nose. To make matters worse the whole world was a stranger to her. Kate had never felt more helpless. There was nothing she could do to make this better.

"I know it hurts honey, but it will get better. I promise, but right now you need to calm down okay. Can you breathe for me?" Kate took both of the small hands in hers and tried to still her movements. She hated to restrain her, but she needed to keep her IV in and the oxygen flowing.

Evangeline finally stopped struggling when she realized the association with movement and her pain.

"That's it, Evangeline. Stay nice and still." Kate slowly let go of the little girl's hands and eased off the bed. A cheery nurse flitted over to check on the tiny patient. From her place at the end of the bed, Kate observed Evangeline glare warily at the nurse.

So distrusting for such a little girl. She looked at the young pink clad nurse as if she was an ax wielding serial killer. What was it that she had once told Castle? 'Everyone looks like a killer to me.' That was nothing compared to the ice in the toddler's glare.

When the nurse, her name tag read Amy, reached out to touch her she flinched away and winced. The nurse attempted to reassure her and try again, but it only served to make her more upset.

"I'm going to get her doctor. I don't want to push her and have her hurt herself. All her vitals look as good as can be expected right now. She's strong. I would say she will probably be moved up to a more private room within the hour."

"Thank you, Amy." Beckett replied as they shook hands.

She wasn't sure how long it would take for the doctor to arrive, but she decided not to waste the time.

She slowly approached the side of the bed once more and leaned a hip against the bed.

"Hi, Evangeline." She began. "My name is Kate." The little girl just stared, the glare was still in place, but Kate could see the fear and pain behind her mask of anger.

"You know, Evangeline is a beautiful name, but it's such a big name for such a little girl. Do you think I could call you Eva?" She just blinked up at her again, but her eyes held just a little bit less contempt in them.

"Okay, Eva. I have something to show you, if that's okay?" Kate flipped Eva's unoccupied hand over and placed her badge in it, helping her to hold up the weight of it so as to not cause her any pain. "This is my badge. It means I am a police officer. They gave me this badge when I promised to protect people." Eva looked confused. "My job is to make sure that people don't hurt each other.

"I know that somebody hurt you, Eva." Kate could see pain flash behind her eyes, deeper than the pain she was feeling right now. This was prolonged and persistent pain. The pain of betrayal and abuse. She saw it for just a brief moment before Eva looked away, down at her lap, ashamed. Kate put her hand under her chin and brought her little watery eyes up to meet hers.

"I'm here to protect you, little one. I am going to be right here to make sure that no one hurts you again, okay? You have nothing to be afraid of." Kate wasn't sure if Eva really believed her or not. She was so little, so young, she wasn't even sure that she fully comprehended everything she was saying to her.

Before she had time to come to a conclusion, the doctor came up alongside the bed.

"It's good to see you awake, Evangeline." As soon as she heard the deep male voice of the doctor, she cried out. When he walked out from behind Kate and moved toward the bed, it got worse. She started crying in earnest and curled in on herself, trying to make herself as small as possible. She moved as far away from him as the rails on her bed would allow.

The doctor immediately understood her reaction and backed away, quickly ensuring that Eva could no longer see him behind her privacy curtain. Eva relaxed a little bit after a moment, but she was still tense and looked petrified.

Kate looked to the doctor and held up a finger, signaling for him to wait a second. She then walked over to the little girl's bedside.

"There's no need to be scared, Eva. I'll be right back, okay? You stay here and lay still. He won't come back in without me, I'm here to protect you, remember?" The little girl just stared, and Kate wondered again if she understood her.

She turned and walked just out of the sight of the toddler to where her doctor stood.

"It's nice to see you again, detective, even under the circumstances. I don't want to push her, this is clearly something she will have to battle with time and trust. First though, before we look at her mental health and form a plan, we need to get her well. I am going to send another pediatric specialist to attend to our little patient for the remainder of her stay."

"Thank you, doctor. As for now, she is still under the direct care of the twelfth precinct. She may be a key witness as well as another victim in our case. I would like to stay with her if I could." Kate knew that really the girl didn't need police custody and they didn't need her for their case, as long as they had gathered the proper evidence from her, but she couldn't bring herself to walk away. She had promised to protect her, and she wouldn't be breaking that promise anytime soon. She could delay Child Protective Services for a few more days.

The doctor shook her hand and went away, headed to the nurse's station to page another physician.

Eva was asleep when Beckett returned to her side, more relaxed than she had been since she had woken up. She was clearly used to being on her own, not used to people, much less complete strangers. Kate simply took up residence in the chair she had vacated earlier and watched the toddler sleep. She was drawn to this little girl. Already, she felt like they were linked in some way. She felt as if she were the only one who could properly care for her.

She knew that was ridiculous. She was hardly qualified to care for a toddler, even in the small amount of time they would be together before the case was closed. She wasn't maternal or loving, she chose modeling when all of her friends started babysitting for money. She was an only child and the youngest grandchild. Her brain was telling her to all CPS and walk away from the child who had already been hurt so many times, but she heart was telling her to hold on tight and not let go.

The new doctor interrupted her thoughts as she came in. She was a fairly young and very sweet. Luckily, Eva slept through the exam with all of its poking and prodding. The doctor approved her move to a more private room now that it appeared she was stable for good. She also informed Beckett that Evangeline was very weak and she would probably remain asleep for the majority of the day as they continued her nourishing treatments.

She called Ryan and Esposito to check in and update them on the little girl's condition and her decision to keep her in police custody a while longer while Eva was being moved. She emailed Captain Montgomery her daily update of the case and told her she would remain with the girl for the time being, citing the girl's mental state as sufficient reasoning. She wasn't sure the Captain would buy it for much longer, but it bought her some time.

When she made it back to Eva's room she took up the seat by her bed again. Her brain was screaming at her to walk away before she became attached, people always left or were ripped away and she didn't think she could take it again, she couldn't afford an attachment. But when the little girl sighed in her sleep and stuck her little thumb in her mouth, she realized her heart was already taken.

 **Stick around because I think there is some Casketty goodness coming up!**

 **As always thank you for reading! I love hearing from you guys. See you next Friday!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! I am so sorry for the delay! I really tried to have this one posted on Friday, but you know life, but I hope you enjoy it!**

 ***Also I want to wish all of you a Happy Memorial Day and thank anyone who is serving, has served, or is a part of a military family. Thank you for all that you do and the sacrifices you make.***

Now

"Beckett."

Somehow it was comforting that she answered the phone the same way she always did. Her voice was strong, commanding, and in control, just as it had been every other time she had picked up a call. So much had changed in the last twenty-four hours, at least in his mind, it was nice to know that some things never change.

The day had passed very slowly after he had taken his leave of Beckett's apartment. He had yet to fully wrap his brain around Kate as a mother figure. He had seen a bit of her soft side through her dealings with victims, and even some suspects, but nothing compared to the sight of her with Evangeline in her arms. The picture was permanently scorched into his mind.

He studied the case file a few times over, the anger bubbled up inside him each time he saw the photos of the broken little girl, it made him physically sick to see it. He just didn't know how someone could do something like that to their daughter. As soon as Alexis walked through the door, he wrapped her up in the biggest bear hug she would allow.

"Hey Beckett." He had given her until 9:30pm before he was pulling out his phone. He knew she had every intention of calling, but the truth was he simply couldn't stand it anymore.

"Hey Castle." She let out a long breath before she added. "I was going to call you." Funny that's the same thing he had said just this morning.

"I know. I'm sorry if this is a bad time…umm, I just didn't want it to get too late." She saw right through his lie, he was sure of it.

"Yeah." Was all she could manage to get out.

It was awkward. Their conversations had been strained and loud and even at times non-existent, but they had never been awkward. He dealt in words for a living and she stared down killers, they were never hesitant and clumsy in their conversations, but at this moment neither could come up with anything to say.

"So, how's Evangeline?" He decided to go with the oldest parent trick in the book to break the silence.

"She's good, sleeping as we speak." Kate paused, debating whether she should say anything more, and he almost thought that his ice breaker had failed. "We had a good afternoon, but tonight will be rough. Nights always are. She sleeps for a few hours and then she's up with nightmares and even the occasional terror if I don't get to her fast enough. She won't come to me. She just works herself up until she is in a full on panic. I feel so helpless, and its gotten to the point now where I can't sleep. I constantly keep myself awake listening for the smallest sound from her.

"More times than not, she ends up sleeping with me after she's up the first time. After she settles back down she is generally okay for the rest of the night and if she does wake up again, I'm right there with her.

"I would keep her in here with me from the beginning, but I don't want her to become dependent on me to fall asleep and all of the books and websites and doctors have all said that they need to sleep in their own beds, at least originally. But I still hate leaving her in that room all alone. Of course she has a night light and I am right down the hall, but I know she's going to wake up and need me.

"Some nights I just sit in there with her and stare. She looks so sweet and innocent before the nightmares come. And other nights it's all I can do to keep from my nightmares at bay because I know that this all very well may be temporary. I'm not her mother, not yet. And someone could walk through my front door tomorrow and take her from me. I don't think I would survive that, Castle, I really don't. I can't lose her."

She didn't know what possessed her to dump all of her feelings and frustrations into Castle. She hadn't really even seen the man in three months, and before that they had been what? Work partners.

She had been so careful not to let her walls come down, not even an inch. In her experience, it was those who were closest to you that could hurt you the most. She had carefully kept everyone out of the walls she had erected brick by brick after her mother had died and her father had drowned himself in a bottle, and everyone she thought she could depend on had left. But Evangeline had changed all of that. She had ripped down her wall brick by brick with her big green eyes and her tiny smiles and her big heart.

Perhaps it's because she has been doing this all on her own and has no one to talk to, perhaps it's because she's scared to death, perhaps it's because it has been building up for months, but maybe, just maybe it's because there is just something about Castle that makes her want to open up.

Whatever the reason she can't find it in herself to feel embarrassed about her ramble, and honestly she feels so much better just as a result of saying it out loud. Releasing her fears into the air and hoping they will not return. She has kept it together for so long, putting up a strong front for everyone around her so that no one will question her or have reason to doubt her abilities to provide for Eva.

"Kate." Castle breathes, once he has given her a moment to calm and ground herself once more. "You're not going to lose her, Kate. No one is going to take her from you. A blind man could see that you love that little girl more than life itself. The rest is just details."

They both knew that he couldn't make those promises, but just hearing the words allowed Beckett to sigh in relief, relaxing back into the pillows of her bed. His words had always done it for her. They had always been the comfort or strength or hope that she needed, and this time was no exception.

It was easy to fall back into old habits after the heaviness was released. The teasing banter and easy conversation that had become the new normal in the spring returned just as easy as it had left. They spoke of everything that came to their minds. Sharing stories of Alexis and Eva occasionally, reminiscing about old cases they had worked, and just generally catching up. The conversation even turned to Kate's impending adoption and all that it entailed. She shared her fears about the subject and told him about all that was being done to keep Eva with her permanently. The subjects never turned to Gina or the Hamptons and stayed away from the darker side of Eva's entrance into Beckett's life.

It was the first time in months that either of them had just been themselves. Being a pseudo-mother/detective and Black Pawn's golden goose/single father didn't leave much time for real, down-to-earth conversation.

Neither of them noticed the time until it was nearing midnight, Kate was actually surprised that she had not heard Eva in all of this time, but she wasn't going to complain.

"I want you to meet her." Kate said, surprised at the words that had fallen from her mouth without her permission. She had been thinking about it off and on during the day, but hadn't settled on a decision until, well, right now apparently. "I mean I know you kind of met her today, but I was thinking more of a formal meeting."

He was stunned. Completely floored by the words that were coming out of her mouth. He had assumed that she wouldn't want him around the little girl, at least for a while. He saw the reaction she had to him today, and it was one of fear. He was so sure that the little girl would be off limits to him, at least for the foreseeable future.

But Kate Beckett had been full of surprises tonight. She had completely opened up to him at first, with no pushing or prodding. And then she had talked to him, really talked to him for the next three hours. She hadn't shut down or evaded questions, she had just talked to him. It was a refreshing, and completely surprising, change; and he would bet all he had that a tiny, blonde haired, green eyed girl had everything to do with it.

"Umm…yeah…I mean I would be honored."

"Look, Castle." And just like that hard-core, business Beckett was back. "I know you saw how Eva was when she saw you today and I also know that you have probably all but memorized the case file, so I'm sure you can put two and two together.

"She has a big issue with men. When she first woke up in the hospital she threw a fit on sight, thankfully she has gotten a little better with some limited exposure to my dad, and the lawyer I'm working with, and even the boys to a very limited extent. But she needs a little push in the right direction. I've spoken with her therapist and her doctor, as well as her case worker, and they have all said that she just needs time and exposure to good, gentle, and kind men.

"I first thought of my dad, but he's so scared to even look at her in a way that will upset her and I don't want them to have a rocky start. I don't think he could handle that. And the boys just aren't right for this. I need someone… well I need someone I can trust, someone who has the time, and can be patient with her, and with me. Do you think you can do that?"

If he was stunned before, there isn't even an adequate word to capture his feeling now. He didn't even know what to think of the compliment this was to him. Not just the words she was saying, but the actions she's planning to put behind them. It's almost too much for him. He has to pinch himself to convince himself that this is not a dream, this is real, and Kate really wants him to meet her little girl. Not only that but to get to know her soon-to-be daughter.

"Castle?" She said with a bit of hesitation in her voice.

"Kate, I would love to meet her!"

 **Sorry again for the delay and thank you again for reading! I would love to hear from each and every one of you!**

 **I will see you Friday!**


	7. Chapter 6

**Happy Castle FanficMonday!**

 **Then**

It was only twenty-four hours before the case was officially closed and Kate couldn't find any plausible reason to put off calling Child Services and she chastised herself for delaying the call for this long. There was no reason not to turn Eva over into their care.

Her relationship with Evangeline, if you could even call it that, was an odd one. The little girl spent ninety-eight percent of her waking hours ignoring Beckett. She didn't speak, she didn't look her way, she didn't do anything, it was actually a bit disconcerting.

Kate Beckett was no expert on children, she had spent surprisingly little time with children and babies in her life. But you didn't have to be an expert to know that Eva's behavior was no where near normal. Little kids were supposed to play and be loud and curious. They weren't supposed to be emotionless as they stared at the wall. Kate was sure that the little girl was scared out of her mind. She had seen it when she had first come out of unconsciousness, but those emotions had been packed up and tightly sealed.

The only time she moved or changed her expression from her tiny mask of blankness was when nurses or doctors came in to check her vitals, change her bandage, or administer more meds. Whenever someone came in the door, her gaze immediately flew to Beckett. After an encouraging smile the little girl would look away and clasp Beckett's badge tightly in her hand. Her little thumb would rub the raised edges of the numbers. The badge was huge in her hand and she didn't even have the strength, or maybe it was the will, to lift it. Either way, the badge seemed to give her a little more strength, she wilted under the attention of the hospital staff, but she always sat a bit taller when the badge was in her hand. Beckett was glad that she could offer even a small bit of comfort to the toddler.

As her condition improved, so did Eva's attitude towards Kate. The detective found herself coming in to work early so that she could take a couple of hours off every evening to visit Eva. The first few days she kept up her steady act of ignorance and indifference, but as Kate continued to be there things began to change.

At first, began reading to her. After a few days, she decided that just sitting in a chair beside her bed and trying to make the girl come out of her shell was just not going to work. So she went to the library at her lunch hour and checked out some children's books that looked interesting and brought them to the hospital that night. She explained to Eva what she had and read through a few of them before the girl fell asleep.

She made voices for some of the characters and made sure to hold it so she could see all the colorful pictures. By the second book, Kate could tell that she was listening more intently, and when she started the third she gave up her act and inspected the pictures as well. Beckett had never felt more accomplished then she did that night.

The next day when she walked into the now familiar hospital room she was shocked to find Eva sitting up in bed with one of the books in her hand. The most shocking part: she was smiling. A beautiful, innocent, little smile that lit up her previously pale and sunken face. At that moment, Kate Beckett was a goner, but she pushed it down. She spent the whole evening reading and rereading the books she had brought and for the first time Eva tried to fight off sleep when it threatened to overtake her.

Over the next few days Beckett brought book after book with her to the hospital, taking care to leave some there everyday to ensure she had things to do when she was at work. Everyday Eva grew more and more animated during their time together. She laughed at the more comical books and smiled all through the books they read together. She started pointing at her favorite characters and eventually even went through the books Beckett brought her and picked out the ones she wanted to read.

Her favorite quickly became obvious and Kate ended up reading it at least once every visit. "Dream Big Little Pig" was the one. It was about a little pig named Poppy who had big dreams, shocker, and how her friends and family helped her achieve them. She wasn't quite sure what attracted the toddler to the book, but she guessed it was the bright colors of the pink pig in a purple tutu that drew her to it. Though the story was cute and if she was understanding the stories she guessed that it was helping her feel at ease around people.

On the fifth day, Kate realized just how hard she had fallen for this little girl, and how hard the little girl had fallen for her. She assumed that Eva had been opening up to everyone, but the nurses were still having trouble getting her to tell them about her pain and her needs, even with a chart to point to it was still just a guessing game. She was still grabbing onto her badge, Kate's old one she used as a uniform that she had brought from home, and shying away from them. And if Kate wasn't there the exchanges usually ended in tears.

"Her mental state just doesn't seem to be improving." The social worker told her when she was accosted outside Eva's door with a handful of books the day before. "I'm worried that she has some form of permanent brain damage."

Kate was shocked. "Oh! I thought that she had been doing so much better. She's been improving everyday when I'm with her. I just assumed these things took time, is she not progressing normally?"

The social worker looked entirely confused at this. Kate and the social worker were never visiting at the same time. She was required to be present whenever nurses and doctors checked on her and she spent as much time with the girl as she could, but Eva wasn't her only patient and it was unusually busy for her this week. With Kate's police credentials she was allowed to act as Eva's caretaker when she was there.

"She hasn't been progressing at all from what I've seen. Tell me everything." The young social worker was eager to hear about her young patient and Kate relayed all of her experiences to her. Jamila Blackman was stretched to her limit and she simply didn't have time to dig deeply with her young and seemingly unresponsive patient. And Kate could see where the loud African American woman would not be able to reach Eva. She reminded Kate of Lanie in her colorful scrubs and bright nails. Eva didn't respond well to loud and hovering. She needed a quieter and softer approach. As soon as Jamila learned this she toned it down and Eva seemed to be okay with her, though she still didn't respond as well.

Friday came and Beckett was up to her neck in a homicide. She had next to no time to even eat dinner, much less spend her whole night at the hospital, but she couldn't help but think back to her conversation the day before. If Eva was truly only responding and improving with her than she couldn't take a rain check. She decided that just one book was okay for the night and then she would come straight back to the precinct.

Eva woke up from a nap as she arrived and immediately picked up the Poppy the pig book. The nurses warned her that she had a trying day full of tests and evaluations. They had gotten her up and tried to make her walk around. She had gone through an MRI and an ultrasound. She had just fallen asleep half an hour before she arrived and they were sure she would sleep the evening away.

After a 3AM body drop and a full day at the precinct Kate's usual lumpy wooden chair just wasn't going to cut it, so she tentatively took a seat on the side of Eva's bed. The toddler didn't even seem to notice the change, she simply thrust the book into the detective's hands. She could refuse her nothing so she settled in to read. She only got a few pages in when Eva grabbed a hold of her shirt and rubbed it between her fingers. A few more pages and Kate felt a warm weight on her stomach.

She looked down to find Eva snuggled up to her side, thumb in her mouth, still intently focused on her favorite book. It was almost too much for Kate's heart to take. It felt as if she was going to explode as a wave of pure love washed over her. She had been denying her feelings for the little girl, thinking it was just a normal attachment, nothing out of the ordinary, but she could no longer deny it. This was something special, it was something she could no longer live without. Her day wouldn't be complete without Eva's little smile in it.

She dropped a kiss on the toddler's head when the book had finished and Eva was asleep. She promised herself just five more minutes of this before she would sneak out. She was needed at the precinct, there were families that needed her to get justice for them so that they could find the closure they needed, but at this very moment the boys could manage. She loved her job, she really did, but for the first time in her career she was wondering if her job was still the most important thing in her life.

 **Thank you all so much for your continued support! I am blown away by all of your kind words. I look forward to hearing from you.**

 **P.S Hopefully there will be another update this week! (If I can keep my life together!). Keep an eye out ;)**


	8. Chapter 7

**Now**

By the time their phone conversation came to an end, Beckett was exhausted. They had decided to met up the next day, or later that day since they had talked well past midnight. She had no idea why she had chosen to open up to Castle the way she had. She hadn't planned on dumping all of her burdens on him and unload all of her fears and insecurities as a parent. Of course, he had shared right back, opening up about his days as a single parent and what he had gone through when Meredith left.

She wasn't normally a sharer, especially with Castle. He had somehow clawed his way into her life over the past two years, but it had never been this way between them. Somehow it felt natural, the words had flown out of her mouth almost without her thinking. It had come to her almost as naturally as their playful banter normally did.

She was too tired to think on it anymore tonight so she simply sank farther into the bed, set her alarm, checked that the baby monitor was on, and dropped off into sleep.

She woke up to the familiar whimper of her unhappy baby girl. She sighed internally, another fitful night. She hated that Eva was plagued with nightmares and terrors. She could count the times she had slept through the night on one hand.

Another cry snapped her back into reality and she took one more deep breath before she blinked her eyes open.

Instead of the darkness of her bedroom, though she was met by a pair of tear filled bright green eyes. This was new.

Eva stood next to her bed dressed in the soft pink pajamas Kate had put her into a few hours earlier, just her little eyes peeked over the rim. Puddles the pig was clutched tightly in her hands as the tears streamed down her face.

"Oh, baby. Did you have a bad dream?" Kate rasped softly, still trying to process the toddler's presence in her room. The nightmares she was used to. She had dried countless tears and soothed away memories for months now. But normally, Eva chose to suffer in relative silence. She never sought out comfort, she chose instead to cry alone in her room. Kate had found her there when she checked on her in the middle of the night when she awoke with ghosts of her own, and quickly realized that Eva was not going to come and get her. When she was scared and upset she tended to shut down and curl inside herself, becoming a little more of the shell Kate had met all those months ago.

Eva nodded shyly to her question and started to move away from the bed slightly, second guessing her decision to come to Kate's room, afraid that she had done something wrong. That had Beckett up in a flash.

"No, no. It's okay, Eva." She said as she scooped the girl up into her arms and cuddled her close to her chest. "I'm so glad you came to me. Now I can make it better, okay. You can always come and get me, especially if you are sad or scared."

As soon as they were settled back into bed, Eva cradled in Beckett's arms, the little girl began crying in earnest. Feeling safe enough to express her emotions instead of trying to keep it all inside herself. There had been times early on when she was so upset that she had started to hyperventilate and she even almost passed out a few times. She was just too brave for her own good, too much like Beckett for her own good, trying to keep all of her real emotions inside and face the world all on her own.

Kate let her cry and whispered comforting thoughts and expressions of love into her hair, occasionally dropping kisses into her hair. It wasn't long before Eva's cries began to let up. Beckett couldn't help but feel extremely prideful of Eva in this moment. This was one of the shortest meltdowns to date. Normally, it took much longer to calm the little girl once she got worked up. But tonight, Eva had come to her for comfort and allowed herself to be comforted with ease. It was another huge milestone in her recovery. She was not only accepting help, but asking for it, in her own silent, little way.

When her cries turned into just the occasional hiccup, Kate slid down into the bed and situated the girl so that she was resting against her.

"I love you, baby." She whispered into the toddler's hair as she snuggled herself closer. The two fell asleep quickly after, and this time neither of them woke for the remainder of the night.

KBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKKBBKBKBKBK

They had scheduled their meeting for after lunch the next day. They agreed that Beckett's apartment was not going to work. That had become Eva's safe space and they didn't want to do anything to compromise it. Castle's loft was an option, but the flamboyant redheads made that a bit challenging. Luckily, Kate had come up with just the place. She rattled off an address conveniently located between their apartments and promised to meet him there at two o'clock sharp.

He left his home at one. He had to talk himself out of leaving even earlier than that, despite the fact that it would only take him ten minutes to get there. He didn't know the last time he had been this nervous.

When he first hung up with Beckett the night before, he was feeling great. He was so excited for the next day to just hurry up and get here already. He couldn't wait to meet the adorable little girl who had stolen Beckett's heart. They already had so much in common just by loving the same woman. But then the gravity of the situation hit him.

His whole future was riding on this meeting. If this went sideways the chances of ever having a relationship with Kate went straight down the drain, and his chances were already slim at best. He couldn't afford anymore backslide lest he lose her for good. This was not just your average toddler. This little girl had gone through hell. He wasn't under any impression that this was going to be easy and their relationship was not likely to fully bloom in a day, but this could cause even more damage to her tiny psyche.

He just didn't want this to be another terrible memory for Eva. He didn't want this to be the cause of another nightmare. So yes, he was nervous.

When he arrived at his destination he was pleasantly surprised to see a locally owned bookstore. It was a cozy looking hole-in-the-wall type of brick front building with a wooden sign that read 'The Book Nook.' A bell chimed when he opened the door and crossed the threshold and he was enchanted from the first glance. The aroma of aging pages hit him as soon as he walked in and it was like coming home.

He could immediately tell why Kate had chosen this place as their meeting sight. The shop was filled with warm burgundies and deep browns and blues. There were books everywhere, along the shelves, stacked on the floor, under the plush chairs and sofas, on tables spread throughout the store. This was not just a place to buy books, but a place to discover and experience books. He could smell coffee brewing somewhere in the back and knew for sure that this was not the last time he would be here. This was the perfect place to come and relax. A place to forget the outside world and escape into the world of words on paper.

An older woman appeared from behind a shelf and smiled warmly to him.

"Good morning, dear." She said cheerily. "Well more like good afternoon now. I do lose track of the time around here. Can I help you with something?"

"I'm just meeting someone here, actually." He replied.

"Ah. Well feel free to browse at your leisure. I can give you some recommendations if you need it, though I doubt you will. There's coffee in the back, you can help yourself and leave a tip in the jar if you are so inclined. There's no real system, except that children's books are upstairs."

He thanked her warmly and she went back to straightening books and dusting shelves. He wasn't sure why she was spending her time straightening the books when she had just said there was no real system, but he guessed there was some type of method to the madness.

He looked at his watch and saw that he still had a while before the girls arrived, so he decided to simply wander and explore the countless books in sight. He knew that he could spend hours looking through the books, relaxing back into one of the many mismatched couches and chairs that were spread around.

He came to the stairs eventually and began to climb. He was pleasantly surprised to find the winding staircase had shelves filled with books on both sides. He took his time ascending to the second floor, running his fingers along the assorted titles. Occasionally pulling one out to inspect it further.

The second floor was just as comfortingly cluttered as the first, except for the fact that these shelves were clearly filled with picture and beginner chapter books. There were small desks and bean bag chairs scattered around along with a corner couch in the middle of the room. He wished that he would have known about this place when Alexis was little. She would have loved spending afternoons here while he sat on the couch with his laptop. He could see it so clearly. A small Alexis curled up in a bean bag chair with a book in her hand, or roaming the shelves to pick the perfect book. She was always so picky as a child. Taking the time to choose the perfect title before she consented to read it.

A creaking on the stairs had him turning towards the opening at the top of the stairs. A moment later Kate appeared with Eva on her hip. She was beautiful. Not that she wasn't always, but today there was a light air around her. Light was never a word that he would have associated with Kate Beckett. Even on the best days, there was still a darkness in the back of her eyes. But today, it was all but gone. Her eyes were the clearest green he had ever seen and her face was split with a genuine smile. Almost matching the crooked grin of the tiny girl in her arms.

The girl's smile disappeared when her eyes left Kate's and she took notice of his presence in the room. Her expression betrayed her mistrust of him.

He was at a loss of what to do and his eyes flicked up to Kate's for a brief moment. Her smile never left her face, but she understood his expression with ease. They had always been on the same wavelength and it was comforting to know that at least that hadn't changed.

"Eva," She began softly, taking the little girl's attention off of Castle. Kate's eyes flicked from his face to the couch several times and her meaning was clear. He quickly moved to the couch and got comfortable on one end. "Alright, baby, why don't you pick out a few books for us to read. I think we need some more good night stories, don't you?" The toddler was completely captivated by the detective's words and she nodded her head quickly.

Kate set her down on the floor and faced her in the direction of a book shelf. Eva seemed hesitant at first. Looking back at Beckett every few seconds, carefully avoiding touching anything. Kate bent down with her and prompted her to touch the books and pull them out. After a few minutes, Eva began to look through the books in earnest and the older woman was able to slip away.

"Hey." She said as she sat down on the couch beside him, leaving enough room in between them so that they could easily face each other. "Thank you… for being here."

"Anything for you." He replied. He said it with a bit of jest, trying to lighten the mood. But they both knew there was a genuine meaning behind it. "So how are we doing this?" He questioned.

"Honestly, I have no idea. I talked to her therapist about it and she just said to take it slow. So I thought maybe we just get her used to you being in the room first. Just let her explore and get used to you sitting here and then we'll go from there." There was a pause after that when they both took a moment to observe the object of their conversation. She had yet to look up from the shelf across the room and she seemed to have forgotten Rick's presence. Kate's face lit up whenever she looked at the little girl, he could see that she was just as nervous about this as he was, probably more so.

"Sounds like a good plan." He said, hoping to be reassuring. "How did you find this place anyway?" He asked by way of changing the subject. Her focus turned back to him, and she smiled wistfully.

"I don't really know, actually. I've been coming here for years. I guess I just wondered in one day after Montgomery kicked me out of the precinct for working too many hours or getting in too deep." She paused here, thinking back to just how bad it had gotten before a certain writer and a tiny blonde girl had entered her life. "I took up residence on an old comfy couch with a coffee and a book." She left out that it had actually been one of his that she had found among the shelves. It wasn't the first time she had read his words, but it was significant nonetheless.

"After that first time, I was drawn here more and more. Jen, I'm sure you met her downstairs, she owns the place. She was always ready with a coffee and a smile. She always knows when I need someone to talk to, or when I just need the quiet comfort of her books. I guess you could say she's become like family to me, this place just feels safe to me." She looked almost ashamed with her last words, as if she should be this untouchable, unshakeable super cop all the time.

He wanted to reach out and take her hand, to find the words to tell her that she didn't have to be so strong all the time, that she could be soft and scared and lost. It was okay not to have it all together and that he wasn't here to judge, but the words died on his tongue when they heard books tumble to the ground.

He snapped his head around and saw little Eva standing in the middle of the three picture books she had taken off the shelf. She had turned to carry them to Kate, excited by the possibility of hearing the stories she had chosen, but in doing so she had seen him. A big, scary man sitting in the middle of her story place. She was angry at him for being here, she was scared of him sitting in between where she stood and Kate sat, and she was confused. She was trapped. She wanted to cry and run away, but she didn't want to run from Kate. She wanted to run to Kate. She would know what to do. But the scary man was in the way. He was big just like her Father had been and he was in the way, she didn't know what to do.

But before she could work herself up anymore a pair of soft, familiar arms banded around her and scooped her up. She snuggled herself in against the detective and breathed a small sigh of relief, letting the slightest bit of tension leave her body.

"Hey, baby girl. Did you pick out some nice stories for us to read?" Eva's only response was to band her arms around Kate's neck and bury her head in her chest. Clearly, she was upset by Castle's presence, but she was allowing herself to be calmed by the detective and that was a good sign. There was no kicking and screaming and full-on panicking. She was just scared and that was understandable, scared she could work with. As long as she felt safe in Beckett's arms this would be okay.

Kate bent down with Eva still in her arms and collected the books that she had dropped in seeing Rick in the room. She made eye contact with Castle, who was looking a little worse for wear at seeing the toddlers terrified expression, and tried to convey that it was all right. There was no lasting damage done and that her reaction was actually somewhat tame in comparison with some they had been through.

The detective walked over to the corner couch and sat down with Eva in her lap, ensuring that there was lots of space between the pair and the writer. Eva became a little more distressed at their proximity, but Kate just held her close and acted as if it were just another day. She situated Eva on her lap, with her arms still around her neck and her little legs on either side of her hips. Eva clung to her and looked decidedly away from Castle, still hiding her face in Kate's chest. Beckett stroked the toddler's hair and began to read from the first book.

Just like her guardian, Eva had learned to take comfort in books. The colorful pictures, the smell that reminded her of her new home, Kate's comforting voice, and the funny characters always made her feel better. Even in her white room where everything hurt and there were loud beeps and lots of people, her books were the first things to make her feel better. Sometimes, when Kate would read to her, she would forget where she was, and all the bad things that had happened. Sometimes she even thought of her own stories, where Kate was her mommy and there was no mean father and nothing hurt. Those were the stories she told herself when Kate had to go away, when she had to go protect other people.

Today the books helped her to relax and forget about the man sitting so close to her. After a while, she turned her head toward Castle to look at the pictures and then she stuck one of her thumbs in her mouth and curled up against Kate's chest. No longer feeling the need to cling to her for dear life.

Castle tried not to move too much, afraid to startle the little girl. He had never seen someone look at him with that much fear. No one had ever really been afraid of him before. But Eva had looked at him as if her were the devil reincarnate. It was awful, it made him feel almost sick to think of the look he had out in her eyes. Though, he guessed it was her father who had put that fear into her and he vowed to endure her looks of fear and anger if it meant that she healed.

He watched as Eva relaxed as Kate continued to read. One minute, her shoulders dropped, then her arms loosened before they fell away altogether, she stuck her thumb in her mouth, and even turned her head in his direction. He could see her following the stories. He could see her face change as Kate read the words. There was no doubt in his mind that she was fully comprehending the words. She was definitely a smart little girl, and it surprised him a bit. He would have thought she would have been behind developmentally speaking. Kate had told him that she didn't speak much, if at all, and he had assumed that had something to do with her not being stimulated intellectually and being left on her own for so long. But, he was wrong, dead wrong. This little girl was sharp, there was a fire in her eyes so much like Kate Beckett it was scary. Even when she was just curled up and listening to a story he could see the life in her. And it made him smile.

Every time Kate almost reached the end of another book, Castle handed her one from the stack by his feet. She must have read about five or six, before she felt Eva relax completely against her. The little girl was fully lost in the stories, studying the pictures and following the simple plots. She didn't want to push, she really didn't. This had been a milestone already. Getting her to just relax in close presence of Castle. She could be happy with this. Eva clearly knew he was in here and she was completely relaxed. It was a win, but Kate just couldn't leave without one more thing.

When she finished 'Pablo: The Penguin Who Hated the Cold', Castle was ready and waiting with another book ready for her to take, but she had other ideas.

"Hey Castle." She said gaining the attention of the man and the little girl on her chest. She sat the book in her hand down and wrapped both her arms firmly around Evangeline. "Why don't you read to us for a while?"

 **TBC.**

 **Thank you all so much for tagging along on this journey. I am thankful for each and every one of you. This was a monster of a chapter, but it is one of my favorites! There will be more of Jen and the bookshop to come, and of course more caskett-y goodness and little Eva too!**

 **I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter and anything you would like to see in this story! I am having so much fun writing and I hope you are having just as much fun reading!**


	9. Chapter 8

**I am so sorry for the delay, but life happens you know! I hope this chapter finds you well! I intend to take this week to make up for lost time so be on the lookout for more hopefully very soon!**

It had been two weeks since Detective Kate Beckett had declared her intentions of becoming Eva's guardian. It had been a long two weeks filled with meetings with lawyers and CPS, shopping for everything a two year old needs, making her home child friendly, evaluations, home visits, a thousand pages of paperwork, and grueling interviews.

She had used the inheritance her mother had left her to pay for everything. She had never had the heart to touch it. Even when things got rough financially and her apartment was destroyed she could never bring herself to use it. She never had a cause worthy enough until now.

Everyday she went to work, logging regular hours to show the judge, she spent her lunch breaks in meetings or filling out paperwork, and she went straight to the hospital after work. After Eva fell asleep she went home to work on Eva's room and the rest of her apartment. It had been an exhausting, but rewarding two weeks.

Everyone was shocked when she had told them of her intentions. They had lots of questions, but they acted supportive, despite the hesitance and uncertainty in their eyes. She just acted as if she couldn't sense it and moved on. She couldn't let anything bother her. She knew that she could do this, mostly.

Honestly, she was scared to death. The process was daunting. It would be at least half a year before they had any word on an official adoption, and that was the absolute best case scenario. It would probably be more like a year to 18 months. Her lawyer was a close friend of Jim and Johanna's from law school, one of the best family attorneys in the state, and he was working diligently to make everything as easy as possible. He recognized that this was a special case with a little girl that needed to be placed in a stable and safe environment as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, there were plenty of people who didn't think she was a stable and safe environment. She heard people talking, her coworkers, CPS agents, and the gossiping nurses, and sometimes she let it get to her. Some nights she questioned whether she was going completely insane.

But, every evening when she walked into the door of room 147 all of her worries melted. Eva was doing great. She was gaining weight and her stitches were taken out. The bruising was all but gone and she was smiling more and more each day. The nurses waited to do anything more than a regular exam until Kate arrived each night, realizing that the little girl was much more calm around the Detective.

Eva was slowly but surely allowing Kate to get close. She loved to hold Kate's hand and give her little tentative hugs. She thought that eskimo kisses were the funniest things in the world and Kate made sure to sneak them in as often as possible just to hear her laugh. Kate was the only one she allowed to help her get dressed and take her baths. It seemed that the toddler had no doubt that Kate was the one who should care for her.

About three days earlier they had decided to take Eva's stitches out. Kate was excited to be able to add bubbles to her bath that night and for Eva to be able to move around more freely without as much pain or pulling. When she walked into the room after work she was expecting to see her usual quiet little girl, maybe reading a book or coloring a picture, but she was met with a very different picture. Eva was crying and shaking, scrunched up in the corner of her bed trying to get away from the nurses and doctor standing in her room.

Kate hadn't seen her like this since she had first come out of surgery. She had gotten better about letting nurses touch her and doctors come in and check her out, as long as they were women and they spoke softly, explaining everything they were going to do before they did it in a way she would understand. Kate saw the problem immediately. First off, there were way too many people in the room. Eva did not like to feel crowded or overwhelmed. The therapist was already working on it with her, getting a nurse or two to walk in and out of the room every time she was being examined so that she could get used to it, but they were never all trying to work with her at once. It had only been two weeks, one week of therapy, and she still hadn't progressed very far. Secondly, there was a metal tray full of instruments sitting right beside the bed. That was enough to make adults nervous, but to a two-year-old with a history of abuse it was down right terrifying. Both of those coupled with it being the end of the day, when she was probably already tired, was enough to throw her into a panic.

As soon as Eva saw Kate, she was scrambling up; she almost tore her IV out trying to get to her. Luckily, Kate was fast and she reached the toddler's side before she did any damage. Eva jumped into her arms and clung to her, burying her face into her neck.

Kate was honored that she was the one Eva had wanted when she was scared and unsure. She remembered that first day in the recovery room when Eva wouldn't go to anyone or anything for comfort. She had come so far and it made Kate so incredibly proud, even if she did have a long way to go.

Kate rocked her back and forth and whispered soothing words into her ears. It took a few minutes but the tears dried, even if she was still whimpering slightly. Kate looked to the IV pole and saw that Eva's nutritional treatment had finished and she motioned for one of the nurses to see if the tube could be unhooked from the needle in the girl's hand for the evening. The young nurse obliged, Kate holding the little girl's hand steady so that the nurse could unhook it and seal the small opening. The doctor was giving instructions and finishing setting up, Kate was relieved when she heard her order for all but one nurse to leave the room.

Once everything was settled and Eva had calmed, Kate sat down on the bed and held the little girl sideways in her lap. She placed her badge in one of her hands, out of the doctors way and kissed her on the head. Trying to make her feel as comfortable and safe as possible.

"Okay, baby, we have to get these stitches out. I promise it wont hurt at all and I'll be right here the whole time, okay? You don't even have to look." With those words Eva curled in against her chest even tighter, keeping her head buried in Kate's chest.

The doctor stayed mostly silent, very well aware of Eva's fear of strangers and not wanting to make the situation worse, now that she was already scared. She and Kate maneuvered the girl so that her stitches could be reached while she was still in Kate's lap. Eva whimpered and flinched through the whole thing, but she held tightly to Kate and got through it. The doctor checked the incision and was happy with the angry red line across Eva's side.

"Look, all done Eva. No more stitches." The toddler refused to look or even acknowledge the comment. Kate thanked the doctor after the wound had been covered and cleared up some questions she had about movement in general and her bath later on.

When the doctor left Kate settled in the bed with Eva on her lap and read her a story from her ever growing stack of books. These days, Kate went to the book store instead of the library. She wanted Eva's favorite books to be able to come home with her, regardless of where that home was.

By the end of the book, 'Dream Big Little Pig' which was still her favorite, Eva had calmed to her normal self, smiling and pointing to the pictures happily. Kate was glad that she was able to recover from her fright so quickly.

"Alright, Eva, time to get out of this room for a while." After Eva's treatments for the day were over and she was no longer tethered to the IV pole she had been cleared for walks down the hall and to the little play area on the hall. Today, though Kate had sweet talked a nurse into letting her take Eva a little bit farther.

They weren't suppose to leave their floor, but there was a tiny toy store in the lobby of the children's wing that Kate thought Eva would love. In all of Kate's shopping in the last week and a half, she had brought comfortable pajamas and clothes, books, furnishings, and a few games and movies, but she hadn't gotten many toys. This she wanted to save for Eva. The little girl had not been able to decide anything for herself, probably in her whole life, and Kate wanted her to have that choice. She wanted her to get excited over stuffed animals and doll houses.

Eva reached her arms up to Kate, silently asking to be carried. Ever since they had begun these evening walks around the halls, Eva had wanted to be carried. She had to walk around her room everyday at the nurse's insistence, but after that Kate suspected she was too tired and sore to do much else. Beckett didn't mind, there was nothing she liked more than walking with the little girl tucked safely in her arms.

They took the elevator and Eva's face was priceless. They were alone so Kate had no problem setting the little girl down when she wiggled out of her arms. She helped her press the button and the girl's face lit up when it began to move. She was enamored by the shiny walls and lights. Kate couldn't resist taking a picture.

Her phone was filled with pictures of Eva and selfies they had taken together when the girl had realized what the camera could do. She used to have a few of her dad and some takeout menus, but now her phone was all Eva. Even her lock screen was Eva smiling happily behind a book.

When they reached the floor and the door opened Eva raced back to Kate. She scooped the little girl up and walked in the direction of the colorful toy store.

Luckily the store was mostly empty save for the elderly woman at the desk and what appeared to be a grandfather wandering the bins. Eva looked amazed at all of the toys surrounding her. Kate was sure she had never really seen such a place before. They walked through the short aisles, stopping every once in a while to let Eva inspect things more closely, Kate giving little explanations here and there. Eva's jaw dropped even more when they got where they were going.

At the back of the store was a huge display bin filled with stuffed animals. There were no shelves and no real organization. There were animals of all different shapes, sizes, and colors all thrown in together. It was heaven for any small child, especially one who had never had a stuffed animal of her own.

Kate could remember her own attachment to certain stuffed animals when she was young. One particular teddy bear had been her constant companion, always sleeping with her and going to day care and grandma's house with her every time. She slept with the bear until college, when she deemed she was too old, but she still had the bear, tucked away in a box at the top of her closet. She wanted that for Eva, wanted her to have a soft, stuffed friend to share her secrets with. She wanted her to have as many toys as she could fit in her apartment, but for now this would be enough.

Kate set her down and bent so that she was on her level. "I thought you might like to have one of these." Eva tore her eyes away from the huge pile of toys to look at Kate in disbelief. "You can pick out any one you want and we'll take it back to your room with us."

Suddenly, Eva was in her arms, clinging to her neck, but this time not in fear or sadness, but in joy and thanks. Kate squeezed the girl and sat back on the floor. Eva spent close to an hour inspecting the animals, picking them up and looking them in the eyes. Hugging them and even carrying around one or the other for a minute. Kate remained on the floor, the old woman had come to see if they were alright several times, and Kate had answered in assent. She apologized for them taking so long, but the old woman just smiled knowingly and waved her off.

Finally, Eva came running up to where Kate was sitting and jumped into her lap with her choice clutched tightly to her chest.

"Oh, you found the one, huh." Kate laughed as she got them both off the floor. She looked down when she had straightened herself up and Eva was holding the animal out for Kate's approval.

She had found a pig. It was the softest looking stuffed pig Kate had ever seen, though she couldn't really recall ever seeing another stuffed pig. It was a soft baby pink and had the cutest button eyes and little gray hooves. It was perfect and the way Eva was looking at it told her that this was it.

"Oh, he's perfect, baby. Is this the one you want?" Eva smiled brightly at Kate's praise, and nodded emphatically at her question.

After paying for the animal and another exciting ride in the elevator, they arrive safely back in room 147. Eva didn't let go of her new friend all night, it had to sit on the sink in the bathroom during her bath, completely overshadowing the bubbles, though they were a big hit as well. They had read 'Dream Big Little Pig' for a second time in honor of their new friend before Eva had fallen asleep. Kate had stayed well past Eva falling asleep, content to just watch the little girl cuddling with her stuffed pig.

That had been three days ago and the pig had not left Eva's sight since. It was actually helping, much like the badge, to make her feel more comfortable around the nurses and during exams and therapy sessions. The doctors were so happy with her progress that they were releasing her today. And not only that, but Kate had been awarded temporary custody and begun the formal adoption process in an early morning court session, so Eva would be coming home with her.

Kate had never been this happy in her entire life. She didn't even care that she was having to take an extended leave of absence from work and that she would probably have to come back in some other capacity if she wanted to permanently adopt. She didn't care that there was going to be hospital visits and therapy. She didn't care that she was a single parent and the only person in the entire world that this little girl trusted. All she cared about was going to the hospital and bringing her little girl home.

 **Thank you so much for all of your support. I know I sound like a broken record, but all of the reviews and follows really make my day! You guys are awesome!**


	10. Chapter 9

**I'M BACK BABY! Haha! No, but really I'm back. Thank you so much for your patience and for sticking with this story. I hope you enjoy.**

It had been a little over two weeks since they started spending their afternoons together, and Castle was loving every second of it. Their daily meetings had slowly become something more. The first few days they had spent an hour or two in the upstairs of "The Book Nook". After a few days neither of them had wanted to separate so soon so they extended their time to include a trip to the coffee shop before going their separate ways. After a week they began taking Eva to the park or the museum or whatever other subdued activity they could think of.

Eva was still tentative and she had not yet allowed him to touch her, but it was getting better. She would giggle when he made a joke or smiled shyly up at him when he tried to talk to her. It always took her a while to warm up to him, going around the edges of the room to choose some books before coming back to the couch while he and Kate took time to talk.

He was still amazed at how Kate had opened up to him. Every day they sat next to each other and spoke like best friends. He had learned more about her in these two weeks than he had in the last two and a half years of knowing her. She spoke about her meetings with her lawyer and social worker, she told him about some of Eva's appointments and gushed over every little milestone she hit, and most surprising was the little tidbits about her childhood and her mom, how she wanted to be the kind of mom her mother was. It took him aback every time she gave away a little bit more of herself, but he wasn't complaining.

He knew that the change had very little to do with him and all to do with the little girl who had made her way into her life, but he would gladly reap the benefits. He knew that she was nowhere near ready to be with him, or if she ever would be. But he was head over heels for her, and that would never change.

Ever since she had stayed with him after her apartment blew up, he started picturing a life with her. At first it was just her in his loft with him, spending their nights cooking dinner and curling up on the couch. Those dreams had evolved into Kate in a white dress and summers in the hamptons, little feet on the stairs and the rest of their lives.

He knew those were only dreams; it was simply a product of his overly active imagination. He had document after document on his computer of Nikki and Rook's future. He didn't need that for himself, if they could never be together he would be okay, as long as he was in her life he would deal. She was it for him and he had realized over the summer that it was her or no one. Running around with Gina was a mistake and truth be told, he was miserable without his partner.

He reflected on this as he walked toward their usual spot. He was almost at the door when his phone rang. Kate and Eva laughing over the top of a book appeared on his screen, and he smiled as he accepted the call.

"Couldn't wait to hear my sultry voice, detective?"

"Castle!" She snaps. He immediately sensed the exhaustion and frustration in her tone. Not her usual mild annoyance with a hint of appreciation, no this was serious. "I'm really not in the mood. We can't make it today. Sorry."

She offered no explanation, but he could hear the screams of Eva in the background. He wanted to ask what was wrong, what he could do to help, anything, but all he could do was listen to the painful cries of the small toddler.

"I really have to go." She prompted when he failed to come up with something to say.

"Kate, just tell me what you need me to do?" It hurt to hear both of the Beckett women clearly hurting. He wanted nothing more than to run all the way to her apartment and take all their worries away.

"No Castle. I don't need you. I can do this." She said harshly. He wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself or him.

"Okay, but I'm here if you change your mind. Promise you'll call."

"Yeah. Promise, Castle." He wasn't convinced she was telling the truth, but he let her off the hook. He said his goodbye and waited for her distracted answer before clicking off the call.

He went into their bookshop anyway, since he was already almost there. He walked up the stairs and into the room in which he spent his afternoons with two of his favorite girls. Kate would kill him if she could hear him now, coming so close to claiming her.

He roamed the shelves perused the options. Picking up a few titles that reminded him of the littlest Beckett. He just kept hearing her cries over and over in his head. It hadn't been a cry that was familiar to him, he had heard her short frightened cries and her ready for a nap cries and even her I'm so done for today cries. But these were different altogether. These sounded almost like pain.

It was made even worse in his mind by the sound of Kate's clear distress. It had been so long since she had truly snapped at him. He just wanted to help, and he knew it wasn't his place. She had told him expressly on the phone that she didn't need him, but he couldn't help but want to run to her apartment and wrap them both up in his arms and tell them that it would be okay.

He paid for the books he had chosen and hurried to the drugstore on the corner to pick up some cheering up supplies. He didn't quite know what to do with himself after that. He wanted to just march straight up to her apartment, but he couldn't.

She would surely not appreciate this unannounced visit, that he knew. But even more than that, this apartment was Eva's safe haven. This is where Kate was attempting to pull her little family together and heal her little girl.

There was a reason they had their meetings elsewhere. She wanted Eva to have a place all to herself. Somewhere where she could always be comfortable. He understood all of that and he wanted to respect it, but he just kept going back to the strain in Kate's voice and the tiny near screams he had heard over the phone.

He decided to give it a while before he just barged in. Kate wasn't in need of a rescue and he truly believed in her, but she had such a tendency to suffer in silence. She hate to think of herself as a burden, even when she was far from it, even when he genuinely wanted to help.

No, he would give her time. He would simply stay close by and do what he does best, wait.

KBKBKBKBKKBKBKBBK

Kate had never been more exhausted than in the moment she hung up with Castle. And that was saying something because she had worked her fair share of midnight shifts and 3AM bodies.

Eva had woken up a little after midnight throwing up and feverish. Kate had panicked and called the specialist from the hospital immediately, Eva was still in the middle of recovery so throwing up could not be good for her. The doctor had reassured her that it was fine, probably just a bug that could be easily treated with children's tylenol or motrin, but to bring her in if it did not stop within 24 hours.

Kate had cleaned up the little girl's bedding and floor, and then set up with her on the bathroom floor. The night had been long, and sleep eluded both Beckett's as they laid together on the floor. Eva had cried and cried, not understanding her sickness, and refusing to be consoled.

Her fever had risen throughout the night, made even worse by her not being able to keep medicine down. Kate could tell that she was aching and sore, but the little girl had refused to say a word about it or even indicate what was truly hurting.

It was terrifying to not know exactly what could be happening inside of Eva. She had no way to know if she was missing some terrible symptom or pain that she was in. All the worst case scenarios played out in her head, but Eva had eventually allowed herself to calm in Kate's arms and so she put all of it out of her mind and focused on the things she did know.

The vomiting had stopped just before dawn, and Kate had settled them both back in her bedroom. The morning had been okay, until she had tried to feed Eva and give her more medicine. Eva had just screamed and cried and sealed her mouth shut.

Kate had tried everything she knew, but nothing worked. Eva threw herself around and became almost hysterical anytime she even saw food, much less the little red bottle of medicine. Kate was at a loss.

She couldn't be harsh or tough, couldn't scare the poor thing like she did her suspects. Eva had been seriously abused, and she was still so small. She really didn't know any better.

After giving it up for a while and remembering to call Castle, Kate had given the toddler time to cool off. Kate had made herself a shake and sat staring at the silent baby monitor on her counter. Allowing herself five minutes to try and get herself together.

After her five minutes were up she snuck over to her door and saw Eva fast asleep on her bed for the first time since she had thrown up. She was curled up in the sheets that dwarfed her already slight frame, wrapped around her little pink pig. Kate was relieved to see her breathing calmly and deeply. Hoping that some rest would make her more willing to at least eat a little something when she woke up.

It was only when Kate collapsed on the couch, in her now silent apartment, that she allowed the night to catch up with her. She was teetering on the edge and she needed someone to pull her back.

There was only one person who she could think of, so she dialed his number and waited.

KBKBKKBKBKBB

Castle had been shocked when his phone rang and he saw that it was Beckett. He really thought he was going to have to make up an excuse to go up to her apartment.

Luckily, the call was much calmer this time and she sounded more hesitant and run down than anything else. When the call ended he was already halfway to her apartment from the park bench he had taken up residence on, and he had to remind himself to slow down and act as if he hadn't been creepily lurking nearby.

He didn't know what to expect when her apartment door opened, but it certainly wasn't what he was met with. Kate Beckett with what he could have sworn were tears in her eyes.

"Hey, Castle." She said through a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Kate. Hey, what's wrong?" He said as he followed her inside.

She closed the door and silently made her way over to the couch. Of course, he followed, sitting down to face her on the opposite end of the couch.

"I'm sorry that I called you. It's nothing for you to worry about Castle. I shouldn't have made you come."

"No." He said firmly and her head shot up. She was surprised at the firmness of her tone. "No, Kate, don't do this. You always do this.

"Just when you're about to open up and actually talk to me. Just when you're about to take another step and lean on me, you shy away, you back out, you add another brick to repair your wall. You can't live like this.

"These last two weeks have been perfect. We've been talking and sharing, actually having a relationship of some form, and I won't let you shut me out now." She was shocked at the boldness of his words. He had always backed off when she needed him to. He had never pushed her when he knew she was really at her limit. But she had opened up to him in these last two weeks and she now realized that that had changed him too.

"Look, Kate. We're more than just partners, we always have been. We're friends. You're my best friend. You're the one I want to help me when I have a bad day, you're the one I come to with advice about Alexis, and you're the one I want to call at the end of the day. I want to be all those things for you, I thought I already was. Now, please, just tell me what's wrong."

She was speechless for a minute after he finished. She had never heard him be so real, so candid and true. They didn't do this before. Before everything had been gleamed from humor and subtext. They had never come out and said all of these things to each other, but thinking about it now, she knew he was right. He was her best friend too.

"I'm failing." She said quietly, so quietly he thought he misheard.

"I'm failing at this, Castle." This time she looked up into his face and he saw the tears threatening to fall. Oh, Kate. "I've never failed at anything, Castle.

"I hear what they say about me: 'Youngest female in the history of the NYPD to make detective', 'the finest Montgomery has ever trained', 'Montgomery's golden girl'. I hear them, and in a sick, twisted way they make me feel better.

"Not better about myself, it's actually pretty weird to hear that about myself. But it validates what I do. I know my team has the top case closure rate, and that just reaffirms it. My family doesn't approve of what I do, never has, and that's okay. My dad has made peace with it and I don't care about everyone else.

"In school, I was always at the top of my class, the academy too. I've never felt this before. This drowning pull of failure. I mean college was stressful, but I was never truly failing at it, and I…"

"Woah. Woah, Kate. Failing at what?" He could tell she was losing sight of what she was trying to say.

"Parenting, Castle. Eva." She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself as a rogue tear fell from her eye. "I'm failing at parenting Eva. I stayed up all night with her. She was so sick and there was nothing I could do. She wouldn't even tell me what was wrong and she wouldn't calm down. Nothing I did helped. She just cried and cried. She was so confused and so hurt.

"She wouldn't even talk to me, Castle. She wouldn't even point to what hurt. Then this morning, I couldn't get her to eat, and she wouldn't take her medicine. She just looked so betrayed when I tried to make her, and she threw such a fit. A fit. I drove my sweet little girl into a fit of rage. And the really awful thing is, I just wanted to hold her down and force her. What kind of parent does that make me? Wanting to force her to do something like she's some kind of criminal.

"I had to give up, how awful is that. I couldn't deal and so I just gave up and now she's napping, probably still in pain and there is nothing I can do. That stupid stuffed pig is doing a better job of comforting her than me." Finally, she broke and Castle caught her before she could curl in on herself. He simply held her against him and let her cry, let her get it all out of her system.

There is no telling how long she had felt like this. This feeling of inadequacy and failure that threatened to overtake her was something that had no doubt been boiling within her for months. He had seen little pieces of this in her speech when he had first found out about Eva.

When she calmed enough to straighten up and wipe her eyes, he could see the apology coming and he held out his hand to stop it.

"Kate, you could not be more wrong. You are not a failure when it comes to that little girl in there. You have gone above and beyond to make her a happy and normal life. You pulled her out of an absolutely awful life and have given her the world. You are killing yourself for that girl and everyone can see that.

"You don't see the way she looks at you, like you single handedly hung the moon and the stars. She loves you so much. And you do bring her comfort, you're the one she goes to when she's frightened, you're the one she looks to for reassurance and safety.

"Every child gets sick, and every child throws fits and refuses to eat and I can assure you none of them willingly take medicine. No child knows what's going on when they throw up and it makes them all react badly. You are not the first parent to feel this way, not the first one to give it up and let them sleep. We've all been there, trust me. We all want to just hold them down and get it over with.

"You have a lot coming at you all at once here, Kate. Most parents get to go through the first sickness when their children are still in diapers and they get to feel lost and unsure for a while and then they find your footing. They take it one challenge at a time, but you are getting all these challenges at once. It's okay to feel this way, but you're not going to fall, I promise. You're tall remember." That earns him a laugh and he carefully wraps her up in a hug again. She sighs into his shoulder and he goes out on a limb.

"What is this really about Kate?" He knows he's gotten it right when she fully deflates against him.

"Joe called last night. Joe, my family lawyer. He just wanted to go over everything that might come up in the first adoption hearing next month, wanted me to start preparing now. He listed off like 30 things, Castle. I just sat there and listened as he listed reason after reason that I could be claimed and unfit parent."

"Oh, Kate." He held her tighter, still shocked she was allowing this touching to go on for so long. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this."

She was expecting him to defend her, to try and convince her how wrong her attorney had been and how there wouldn't be any problems at the hearing and everything would just fall into place. But he didn't. He had just apologized, a real heartfelt apology. It was just what she needed to hear in this moment.

"It'll look better after some sleep. We'll work it all out when you wake up, just sleep now." He helps her lay down and she is entirely too tired to protest. She let him drape a blanket over her and press a kiss to her forehead, before she drifted off into sleep.

 **To be continued...**

 **Thank you so much for reading! I am so happy to have found my inspiration again. I would LOVE to hear all of your thoughts.**

 **I hope to write more as soon as finals are over (early next week).**


	11. Chapter 10

**Hello again! I am officially back to writing and I am so excited to share the rest of this story with you. I am so glad you are still on this journey with me. Your reviews and messages meant the world to me and they are why I have the inspiration and encouragement to write this. I will be posting as much as I can in the coming weeks here and in my collection of prompts.**

 **So, without further adieu, back to our story!**

Kate woke up hours later feeling infinitely better than she had in days. Sleep was always hard to come by with Eva, and she was way too old for the all-nighter she pulled last night. She sat up gingerly and stretched, the muscles she had abused by sitting on the hard tile floor all night protested even as they popped and the feelings subsided.

"Castle?" She called when she realized he was nowhere in sight. She didn't think he would have left without waking her, but he wasn't in the living room with her. And judging by the silence she heard, he wasn't in the kitchen either. If there was one thing she knew, it was that Castle did not know how to be silent. She smiled. His incessant chatter had once been nothing more than an annoyance, but these days, when so much of her life was spent in silence, his mindless conversation was a relief.

She stood from the couch and slouched off the blanket she had around her legs.

"Castle!" She called a little louder, moving past her bedroom and toward the hallway.

"Shhh!" Her partner emphatically shushed her.

She stepped into the hallway to something she had never anticipated.

Sitting on the floor a few feet from Eva's door, was Castle. He had somehow folded his legs beneath him 'criss-cross applesauce', quite the feat for someone his size, and had one of Eva's beloved books open in his lap. There was a stack of books beside him, indicating he had been at this for some time. His deep, calming voice filled the hallway as he read the pages and held the pictures in the direction of Eva's doorway.

There in her doorway lay Eva, she was wrapped in a blanket with her head pillowed on her pig as she listened to the story and studied the pictures from a safe distance away. There was maybe 3 feet between Eva and Castle, to anyone else it would have been an odd sight, the toddler laying on the floor with Castle so far away, but to Kate it was an amazing sight. She wasn't sure how they had gotten into this position, but it was blowing her mind.

Castle finished reading before she had gotten over her shock. When his voice went silent, Eva looked at him for a moment and began to disentangle herself from her blanket. Kate started to go to her, but Castle held a hand up to her, much like she had the day he had found them in the park. She took a step back and remained in the shadows as Eva abandoned her pig and disappeared into her room.

She appeared in a few seconds with another book in her hand. She took a few steps into the hallway and set the book down before retreating back to her little nest. Castle waited until she was laying down and then leaned forward to grab the book that was between them.

Now Kate was truly speechless. Eva was interacting with Castle. Not only that, she was interacting with him without her prompting it, or even being present for it. It wasn't direct contact or speaking or any of the other million things they were hoping for, but it was extraordinary in its own small way.

Before Castle could begin, Kate made her presence known by stepping into the hallway.

"Hi, Baby. How are you feeling, Sweetheart?" She asked, stepping over Castle and coming to sit beside her little girl. _The_ little girl. She had to stop doing that.

As soon as she sat down Eva was crawling into her lap and curling up against her. Kate picked up the pig and placed it next to the girl and wrapped her in the blanket. She pressed a kiss to her forehead, half in sincerity and half to check her temperature. She was still hot, but a little less so than when she had fallen asleep.

"How about I order us some dinner?" Castle said standing from his seat against the opposite wall.

"Oh, Castle you don't have to-"

"Kate. Let me order us some dinner." He said leaving no room for argument with a genuine, but kind voice.

"Okay." She relented, smoothing Eva's hair back behind her ear and scooping her up with her as she stood.

Kate pushed her way in front of Castle and made her way to the kitchen, looking back at him to ensure that he was following. She kept Eva on her hip, pig in hand and blanket still somewhat around her, as she dug in a drawer and came up with three take-out menus.

"Okay, Eva, which one do you want today? This one," she began pointing to the chinese menu, "has the brown rice and veggies, remember? This one," pointing to the italian menu, "has the yummy spaghetti and bread. And this one," pointing to the familiar green menu of Remy's, "has burgers and fries."

She remained silent for a few seconds as she let the toddler consider her options. She shot Castle a breathtaking smile as Eva intently studied the menus in front of her. Even after the last few weeks, he was still amazed when she looked at him like that. He longed to be the reason behind a smile like that, but just seeing it in response to her little girl was enough for him.

Eva picked up the Remy's menu and handed it to Kate, decision made.

"That okay with you, Castle?" She asked as she handed it to him.

"You know I love Remy's." He said with a smirk. "What can I get for you, Mademoiselle?" He directed his question to Eva.

Kate had never had to tell him to address Eva when he was talking about her. It was something that the therapist had emphasized, making sure that she was apart of conversations so that she could form answers and not feel separated from everyone else in her life. She had had to make that clear to the boys, Lanie, and her father, and she could tell it still made them uncomfortable to talk to the little girl. She knew they just didn't want her to be afraid of them, it was also what had kept them away for these months. They had come for a very short birthday celebration and her father saw them once a week, but it had just been Eva and Kate for so long, before Castle, that is.

Of course, Eva looked up at Kate to answer for her, but the message was received by her at least.

"Just add a kids cheeseburger with ketchup and fries to our usual. Oh, and a small chocolate shake for her too. After today, she deserves it."

"Alright, be right back."

 **KBKBKBKBKBBKBKBK**

When Castle came back from calling to order their food, the Beckett girls had made themselves comfortable on the couch. Eva had changed into new pajamas and had lost the blanket in lieu of reclining against Kate. She was much more alert, but Castle could tell that the sickness lingered, even if the nausea had passed.

Suddenly unsure of what to do, Castle stood awkwardly in the doorway until Kate looked up at him and gestured to the other end of the couch. He walked to the couch and sat down.

"Should we play with your dolls before dinner, Eva?" The little girl nodded. Kate set her on the floor and followed her past Castle to where the dollhouse waited.

Eva picked up the first doll she came to and handed Kate the other. Castle turned so that he was facing them and watched as they got lost in their make believe. He was elated to be able to see this side of the little family. He had gotten used to how they were outside of the house, but here in their own home they were both more relaxed. Eva giggled endlessly at the story Kate made up for the dolls, a story that he recognized as a kid-friendly version of something Ryan and Espo had done last year. Kate had lost herself in the girl too and it was beautiful to watch. Even more beautiful were the pictures he had sneakily taken on his phone when he was sure they weren't paying attention to him.

After about ten minutes Kate left Eva on the floor to join him on the couch.

"We're trying to get her to use her imagination. She usually only lasts a minute or two before she runs out of steam. I don't really know how to help that."

"Kate." He said, taking her hand.

"Yeah."

"You are an extraordinary mom. She just needs a little bit more time and you're giving her everything she needs."

"How do you always know what I need to hear?"

"I'm just psychic like that."

"Uh huh. Seriously though, Castle. Thank you for being here and talking me down this afternoon. I'm sorry I've been such a mess lately, there is just so much going on and you don't have to keep putting up with me and reading to my kid for hours every week and… and I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm glad that I have you to talk to."

"Katherine Beckett! Did you just admit to looking forward to my sparkling conversation every day?"

"And then you ruin it." She laughed.

Just then, the doorbell rang and Castle popped up with the excitement of a 9-year-old on a sugar rush and called dibs on the door.

"Oh and Castle?" She called as he was headed for the door. "Tell anyone I said that and Alexis will be your only child, kapeesh?"

"Kapeesh." He replied, but with the mention of future children he had to shake away the image of Eva curled up in his lap with Kate's head on his shoulder.

KBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBKBK

They decided to eat on the coffee table in the living room instead of setting the table. Kate even allowed them to eat straight out of the styrofoam containers. They let Eva pick out a movie to watch to fill the silence of the meal and she picked Aladdin, a choice that Castle got so excited about that the little girl dissolved into a fit of giggles and almost choked on her first french fry.

Unfortunately, Eva only got a few bites of her burger into her before she pushed it away and came for Kate.

"I know you don't feel good, baby, but you need to eat." Still, the little girl refused and just buried her head deeper into Kate's shoulder. Kate spent the rest of their dinner giving the little girl her fries, and amazingly Eva ate almost all of the ones that came from Kate.

As Jafar was taking over the world, Kate decided it was time for milkshakes and Castle followed her into the kitchen to get them from the fridge.

"Castle why are there two small shakes and two larges?" She asked coming out of the fridge with the two kids ones in her hand.

"Oh, yeah. I have a trick for you with the medicine. She's never going to sleep tonight unless you get some medicine in her and I thought you could use a little trick that I learned with Alexis." He said it tentatively, or as tentatively as he had ever done anything.

"Castle. I would love to give it a try. You don't have to be nervous to offer me advice. I know I haven't been as receptive in the past, but I'm trying here, Castle and I could use your help." If he hadn't been leaning on the counter, Castle would have fallen over. This was Kate Beckett standing here in front of him taking his advice. Kate Beckett. He never thought he would see the day.

"Well, Castle. What's the trick? And what does it have to do with the milkshake?" He shook himself out of his surprise and took the shakes from her.

"When Alexis was little she threw a fit every time she needed medicine. She would scream and cry and when I finally got it in her mouth she would spit it right back at me. So I made up Princess Shakes."

"Princess Shakes?"

"Yeah. I snooped in your medicine cabinet and found the cherry flavored children's tylenol. If you put her dosage in this strawberry shake and mix it up in the top half, she will never taste it. Bonus, you call it a princess shake because it is pink." Kate couldn't help but laugh at how excited he got explaining princess shakes. It reminded her of her mother cutting up her pills and putting them in applesauce when she had the flu. Why hadn't she thought of that?

Their eyes caught and they were both grinning like fools at one another. The whole world melted away as they lost themselves in their shared happiness. It was such a simple thing, laughing over something that was only funny to the two of them. They had done it so many times in the 2 years they had worked together, but somehow it felt like it meant more now.

"What?" He asked.

"Sorry, it's just you get so cute when you get excited." As soon as the words were out of her mouth her face turned beet red and she quickly looked away from his face, the world snapped back into place.

"Look Castle, I didn't mean..."

"No, Kate. It's okay. You don't need to explain."

"But I..." A giggle from Eva in the living room snapped them out of their awkward situation.

"I'll just go get the medicine." She said and walked swiftly out of the kitchen.

He couldn't think about what her words meant to him, she had clearly not meant to say them, but she had to have meant them on some level if that's what she had been thinking. But, he couldn't push her and he certainly didn't want to scare her. He had been making progress with both Beckett woman, not just the little one. They both had walls that needed to be scaled and he couldn't afford to go back to the bottom.

Beckett returned to the room with a little cup of red medicine and went about mixing it in with the milkshake. Castle simply took their large ones and gestured to the living room.

Eva had crawled up onto the couch and was fully engrossed in Aladdin and Jafar, who was now a giant snake, so he took a seat back on the floor.

"Hey, Eva, time for your milkshake." The little girl perked up at that. "Guess what, baby? Castle got you a special milkshake today since he knew you weren't feeling good." Castle wasn't sure mentioning it had come from him was the best idea, but he let her go with it, crossing his fingers that this would work and bring the girl a little comfort. "Look, it's a princess milkshake. It's pink! The fairy godmothers made it just for you to help you feel better. Isn't that special, it is just for you?" Eva's face actually lit up at that, and she was so grateful that the protein shakes she drank every day had never been strawberry flavored.

Eva practically snatched it away from Kate and put the straw in her mouth. Kate sighed in relief and glanced over Eva, who was already absorbed in her shake and the movie, to see Castle with both his thumbs up. She pulled the little girl closer and kissed her on the head, grateful that she was finally getting medicine into her little system.

When the movie was over Eva was already dropping off into sleep and her fever had almost faded the rest of the way.

"Eva." Kate called as she shook the little girl slightly. "Say thank you to Mr. Castle for the special milkshake." Eva simply looked at him and smiled her shy little smile.

"You're very welcome, Eva."

"I'm just going to give her a quick bath and put her to bed, will you still be here when I'm done?" She asked as she scooped up the girl and pig all in one go.

"Absolutely, Kate."

"Perfect. I'll be right back and we can talk."

 **TBC**

 **What does she want to talk about? You'll have to wait and see.**

 **Thank you all for your patience and continued encouragement. I would love to hear from you!**

 **Also, if you have a prompt I would love to write it for you. My tumblr is .com**


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